Re: Far Horizons
Posted: Thu May 05, 2016 1:12 pm
Thanks David,
It's always helpful if someone like yourself with good knowledge of the style of poetry being attempted, is kind enough to take the time like you have here, and and give an example using a few of the original lines to explain what you mean.
I started by at first having the lines broken into smaller segments (for want of a better explanation) but old habits took over.
There were times when I thought that by adding a rhyme or two and a bit of tweaking it might make a better lyric.
I was aware that that I was probably over doing the descriptive bit, and using far too many words, but old habits are hard to change.
It's probably fairly obvious that I have read very little free verse and what I have read I have tended to skip over most times. More recently I have read a couple of poems carefully and have realized that a lot of thought has been put into the writing and it needs to be read in a similar manner.
The main purpose of this effort was to try and gain a few pointers, that's why I asked for comments.
Hopefully my next effort will be a pace or two further down the track than this one.
Cheers and thanks again David your advise is appreciated.
Terry
It's always helpful if someone like yourself with good knowledge of the style of poetry being attempted, is kind enough to take the time like you have here, and and give an example using a few of the original lines to explain what you mean.
I started by at first having the lines broken into smaller segments (for want of a better explanation) but old habits took over.
There were times when I thought that by adding a rhyme or two and a bit of tweaking it might make a better lyric.
I was aware that that I was probably over doing the descriptive bit, and using far too many words, but old habits are hard to change.
It's probably fairly obvious that I have read very little free verse and what I have read I have tended to skip over most times. More recently I have read a couple of poems carefully and have realized that a lot of thought has been put into the writing and it needs to be read in a similar manner.
The main purpose of this effort was to try and gain a few pointers, that's why I asked for comments.
Hopefully my next effort will be a pace or two further down the track than this one.
Cheers and thanks again David your advise is appreciated.
Terry