The Game of Cards

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Jasper Brush

The Game of Cards

Post by Jasper Brush » Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:49 pm

The game of cards

I do not know if I've told you before, a few years ago, I was struck down with a rheumatic condition call Polymyalgia. My doctor fixed-up the problem, well about 90 per cent, by the use of a strong anti-infection drug called, prednisone. The downside of using strong doses of prednisone, in my case, was I became hyperactive. On reflection my high level of hyperactivity may have been due to my continuous intake of a system flushing agent—home brew. One night as I sat at my computer tapping away at the keyboard, sweat started dripping onto the desk, my body started sweating. Hmm… In the back of my mind I thought I may been having a heart attack. Then I realised there was a perfectly natural explanation for the physical eruption. My calming thought was: that my body was being cleansed by the therapeutic actions of the brew and the drug.

I write a lot, and for relaxation I play computer card games. I downloaded a computer poker card game where players sit around a table and are identified by different colours and styles of headwear. One night I ‘d been playing this particular card game for hours. I glanced at my watch and to my alarm discovered that the time was about twenty to two. So I hurriedly shut down the computer and went to bed.
I had only been in bed for a few minutes; my body tense, hands clenched tight. I opened my eyes. And then it happened.
Surrounded by darkness; up on the ceiling was the green biased card table and there sitting around the table hats waiting for the cards to be dealt. The cards were dealt, the bids were open, and the game was on. I do not know how long I played cards. I played until my eyes became droopy and I feel asleep.

The next morning after I awoke, I lay in bed, there had to be a logical answer to my experience. After breakfast I visited my doctor to find out the answers.
‘Yes! That’s the story doctor. I was it was late at night. I had being playing cards on my computer. I went to bed; then lay in bed and plaid cards on the ceiling in my bedroom.’
‘And the picture and surroundings on the ceiling were exactly the same as the card game on your computer?’ The doctor said.
‘You’re not into drugs are you?’
‘Nup. The only drug, I take, is home brew beer. Oh, and I’m on 25mg prednisone’ I said.
‘Oh yes prednisone is here on your card Hmm… That is a strong medication. How much brew do you drink at night?’
‘About a bottle.’ I lied.
‘You must be hallucinating?’ The doctor said.
‘No way.’
‘Ok I’m sending you to see a Professor, Stanislaw Chockinoski, at Sydney University, who is a medical phenomenon brain reverse cycle spectrologist.’
‘A what?’
‘Oh, a MPBRCS, Yes I know it’s all confusing. Just let me say it’s a modern branch of preoccupied science, commonly known as PSR.’
‘Yes in this case, preoccupied science in reverse.’

Two days later, in the early morning, I was ushered into Professor Chockinoski’s lab/room.
‘Ah, Mr Faust, I have read the referral from Dr Morrison. You are a very good subject for the Phsycraticological Chamber.’
‘The Phrase what?’ I said
‘Oh of cause. You are not converse with the technological aspects of MPBRCS. The PC is an area filled with pro density ions, at an opportune time, a low charge of photolatic resistance enters your skull through the top of your helmet which activates the reverse concordia refractory pictures in your brain that reverses the process of sight. The picture/pictures if any will be transmitted to the hundred and ten inch television screen in my office. Is that clear, Mr Faust?’
‘Yes I lied.’
The professor then handed me a colander shaped helmet with long handles on each side that fitted over my ears. On top of the helmet was a carrot shaped aerial thingy. I strapped the helmet on and the professor escorted me to a structure that looked like a large plastic water tank with a whippy aerial on top. He pointed to an open metal door. He told me to go inside and stand on a red dot in the centre of the room. He told me to make sure I placed one foot on each side of the dot.
I entered building and put one foot each side of the dot.
The door slammed shut and the lights went out.
Whoom, whoom, whoom. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee.
The room opened up in dull red light. Air rushed around my body. My eyes bulged.
Whoom, whoom, who uuuu mmmm.
The light went out; the lights came on again.
After a pause the door opened. Professor Chockinoski smiling, arm extended said. ‘Come outside and view the results.’
I put my hand to my brow. My head was throbbing; I felt physically drained of energy and walked out of the chamber into the room.
He said, ‘look at the screen. We have an image.’
I looked the screen. A picture of a large card table.
The professor said. ‘Well it proves you were right; but a blank card table?’
I smiled and said. ‘Professor I never ever start playing cards before 8:pm. The time now is ten minutes past eleven.

John Macleod

This story is copyright.©
Cannot be reproduced in any form without the consent of myself or my Agent: Kym Foster.

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