The Larrikin and His Scheme

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thestoryteller
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The Larrikin and His Scheme

Post by thestoryteller » Mon Jun 20, 2016 10:28 am

THE LARRIKIN AND HIS SCHEME

Among the many bush poets a bloke gets to rub shoulders with, you find a few characters. One that stands out in my mind is the Larrikin himself, Bobby Miller. Bobbie is known as the king of merchandise and is always dreaming up ways to make a dollar. Some of his schemes include mass producing home brew and storing it in the dam on his property in the back blocks of Mungar along with flogging off larrikin badges and T shirts, just to name a few.

The first time I went to visit him I had a hell of a time finding the place and reckoned he must be wanted by the law to be hiding away out in the scrub like that. All jokes aside it’s a great little spot and an obvious place for a poet to get inspiration.

Sales of home brew and larrikin T shirts were not making the big impact Bobbie had thought they would and he was looking for another way to pay off the mortgage. While sitting down by the dam one afternoon, Bobbie and I were knocking down a few pannikins of brew when he jumped up and screamed,
“I’ve got it Merv, I’ve got it! I’m gonna buy a truckload of watermelons off my neighbour and sell them at the Maryborough markets in time for the Christmas rush!”
His good wife Sandy didn’t look too impressed, but then again she’d been through this a dozen times before.

Bobbie calls his place ‘Poets Corner’ and when I called again in December, I asked him how things were going.
“I don’t understand it Merv,” he said, “I’ve done me homework. The neighbours only asking a dollar a melon and that’s what I’ve been charging, but I don’t seem to be doing much good out of it.”
We wandered down to the dam and after knocking down a few pannikins of brew at our favourite thinking place I asked Bobbie what he had in mind to do to remedy the problem. I could see the brew had taken hold as you could hear the old grey matter ticking away as he gave the matter some serious thought.
“I’ve got it mate!” he yelled excitedly, “I’ve got the problem beat!”
“What are you going to do Bob?” I asked enquiringly and eager to hear how the mind of the king of merchandise worked.
“It’s obvious mate, I’ll just buy a bigger truck!”

Merv Webster

From the book A Muster of Verse and Yarns
Some days your the pidgeon and other days the statue.

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