THE TRUE STORY
Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:04 am
THE REAL STORY
In times gone by or perhaps in another life the fact that the space between heaven and earth was yearly visited by a man in a red suit in a sleigh pulled by reindeers delivering gifts across the whole world in just one night was totally believable.
After all goblins and witches were there, and fairies at the bottom of the garden. Reds were once feared worldwide. Greenies were unheard of unless they came perhaps from Mars in flying saucers. Why saucers? Why not plates? Brownies were considered relatively harmless.
I am here to dispel the myth. I am just the messenger.
Flying across the Red sea under the radar can be achieved without authorities noticing. Stealth bombers do it all the time. Achieving the same result in a metal sleigh drawn by methane emitting reindeers whose harness is resplendent with metal bells – I don’t think so. Traversing the whole world in one night with enough gifts for every child on earth, said load being pulled by what equates to 9 horsepower…Helloooo, what planet did you come from?
Moments of authenticity need to be confirmed…this story about this bloke called Santa Clause does not happen. It is a myth, a physical impossibility that even the best scientists in the world are unable to duplicate. Even the refuelling is ridiculous…one would not seriously consider a trip of such magnitude could be undertaken purely fuelled by a few carrots and the occasional glass of milk.
Oh how we wish it were so, with the price of petrol at the ridiculous levels it is today. Even America seems to have pulled out of the space race and God knows they make oil.
How do the presents get underneath the Christmas tree I hear you ask? Well there has been no defined answer to that mystery but scientists are working on that one as we speak.
Fear not Virginia – there is a Santa Claus – he seems to have a lot of helpers though. No doubt some type of franchise arrangement. Also we suspect he utilizes off shore facilities to make the gifts, thus further reducing his costs. He must have a lot of elves in China.
We'll keep you posted as further developments arise - stay tuned.
PS - HOLD OFF ON SENDING THOSE CHRISTMAS LISTS TO SANTA ----- Seems that now we have blown the story Santa might have moved. Post offices across the world are swamped with a deluge of letters to Santa that are unable to be delivered due to insufficient address details - Santa at The North Pole - doesn't cut it. Might we suggest that perhaps one endeavours to locate an email address for Mr S Clause and directs any enquiries through that medium.
Maureen Clifford Э 07/11
In times gone by or perhaps in another life the fact that the space between heaven and earth was yearly visited by a man in a red suit in a sleigh pulled by reindeers delivering gifts across the whole world in just one night was totally believable.
After all goblins and witches were there, and fairies at the bottom of the garden. Reds were once feared worldwide. Greenies were unheard of unless they came perhaps from Mars in flying saucers. Why saucers? Why not plates? Brownies were considered relatively harmless.
I am here to dispel the myth. I am just the messenger.
Flying across the Red sea under the radar can be achieved without authorities noticing. Stealth bombers do it all the time. Achieving the same result in a metal sleigh drawn by methane emitting reindeers whose harness is resplendent with metal bells – I don’t think so. Traversing the whole world in one night with enough gifts for every child on earth, said load being pulled by what equates to 9 horsepower…Helloooo, what planet did you come from?
Moments of authenticity need to be confirmed…this story about this bloke called Santa Clause does not happen. It is a myth, a physical impossibility that even the best scientists in the world are unable to duplicate. Even the refuelling is ridiculous…one would not seriously consider a trip of such magnitude could be undertaken purely fuelled by a few carrots and the occasional glass of milk.
Oh how we wish it were so, with the price of petrol at the ridiculous levels it is today. Even America seems to have pulled out of the space race and God knows they make oil.
How do the presents get underneath the Christmas tree I hear you ask? Well there has been no defined answer to that mystery but scientists are working on that one as we speak.
Fear not Virginia – there is a Santa Claus – he seems to have a lot of helpers though. No doubt some type of franchise arrangement. Also we suspect he utilizes off shore facilities to make the gifts, thus further reducing his costs. He must have a lot of elves in China.
We'll keep you posted as further developments arise - stay tuned.
PS - HOLD OFF ON SENDING THOSE CHRISTMAS LISTS TO SANTA ----- Seems that now we have blown the story Santa might have moved. Post offices across the world are swamped with a deluge of letters to Santa that are unable to be delivered due to insufficient address details - Santa at The North Pole - doesn't cut it. Might we suggest that perhaps one endeavours to locate an email address for Mr S Clause and directs any enquiries through that medium.
Maureen Clifford Э 07/11
