Blokes you come across

[r.magnay]

I did my apprenticeship in a small country town in SA, after I finished my time and a few years working for a boss I tried it on my own, it kept us fed but wasn't setting the world on fire so I suplimented it with a bit of truck driving, tractor driving, general farm work and even had a go behind the bar of the local for a spell. I was good at that, a few years training on the other side stood me in good stead. After working out that I was getting broker instead of richer....money wise that is, I decided to move further north and started working in the real outback, remote SA and then the Territory, not only did my finances improve, so did my experiences!

It's pretty amazing what some people will say when you come across them in the name of conversation, just the other day I was coming home from a week out bush installing a switchboard in a water storage yard on a community. It was at a place called Harts Range, a small aboriginal community out on the Plenty. I was travelling home on the Plenty Highway....buggered if I know why they call it that, it is a link to Bulia from Alice, or to Alice from Bulia if you prefer, it branches off almost due east from the Stuart Highway, about 70 K's north of Alice and starts off as a skinny gutted single lane bitumen road which extends for about 100 klicks, then turns into something which resembles a disused rubble quarry rather than a highway! Anyway, I was heading home with my ute loaded up with swag, tucker box, coupla ladders, tool boxes and a few sticks of conduit left over, I had the trailer with the old switchboard and a few rolls of cable and stuff in it, and after a week without a drink I was on course for home.

I'm poking along steadily with a bit of "The Highwaymen" on the juke box when this bloke in a bloody great 4WD Henry is approaching , he's got high lift jacks, ropes, jerry cans, tarps and every sort of burnside bushman equipment you can imagine....and that's just what you can see! Next thing he starts waving his arm about trying to flag me down, "What the bloody hell does this bloke want?" I think to myself as I start to make a bit of a hurried stop. Next thing there is a great bang and a bit of a rattle, I look in the mirror and say "Shit"....the trailer just came unhooked! I get out and survey the situation, no damage, just that the trailer is now hanging on the safety chain! Looks like the bloody safety latch...or whatever you call it, has a bit of a dodgy spring and let the tongue in the ball pop up and off comes the trailer....highway?...yeah sure. By now this other bloke is out of his unit and walking back to me, "How you goin'?" he says...I was goin' alright." I replied, "What's your problem?"....in a friendly tone trying not to sound too pissed off. "I just thought I better warn you that a blackfella has tipped his car over back the road a bit."...I thought, "What the hell has that got to do with me? you just come from there and I am going there, why is it important to me?"...he must have detected my confusion because he quickly added "It is on a bit of a corner so I thought I had better warn you so you don't run into him." "Right." I muttered. Thinking to myself, "I do 50,000 kays a year on these roads mate, do I look like the sorta dickhead who would plough around the corner and run into a blackfella car?" It was sort like an insult, but I guess he thought he was doing the right thing.

Anyway, I was more interested in the trailer being not connected to the ute and cold beer in the fridge at home than I was about another blackfella car arse up, he already indicated that no-one was hurt and help was on the way, (Which only made me more cranky that he had stopped me.) Pretty observant this bloke, he suddenly worked out that I was more interested in something between my ute and trailer than what he was on about, "What's wrong?" he says, "The bloody trailer has come unhooked, I hit a bit of a bad pothole just before you flagged me down, the spring in this catch must be buggered and let the toggle go, when I started braking after you flagged me down the bloody trailer came undone, not too sure how I am going to get it back on." " Do you want me to give you a lift?"..."Jeese this blokes sharp!" I thought to myself. "Yeah that'd be good." I said, "Looks heavy." he said. I thought, "'course it looks heavy you bloody clown, it's made of steel! Everything made of steel is heavy and then when you chuck a heap of other crap on top of it it is even heavier!" "Hang on mate!" I said, I'll go around the other side and we'll see if we can lift it on without a jack." Turned out it was pretty well balanced and wasn't too bad, next thing it was on and a bit of wire to hold the safety catch in place and we are set.

He looks in the ute and trailer and says "Sparky are yuh?'" "No mate, actually I'm a brain surgeon." "Orr, how come you got all this electrical gear with yuh then?" " Mate, you just never know when you might get a power failure on these remote communities, not real good halfway through an operation you know, pays to have all the bits to get things goin' again, you got to be a bit multi skilled out here you know." He raised his eyebrows as if in recognition of my skill, I think he just reckoned silence might be the best defence here. "Any how, thanks for the warning mate, better keep moving, enjoy the rest of your holiday.".........

[Vic Jefferies]

Good story Ross and anyone who likes The Highwaymen is a mate of mine!

[Neville Briggs]

Seems like a helpful fella to me Ross. Did he have a manbag ?

[Bob Pacey]

Yeah and just what is wrong with my manbag Neville Ducky?

I like the ones who ask the obvious Ross .

Got a flat tyre hey?. No I just like lying down in the dust under my car it is good for my complexion.

After 200mls of rain and we are stuck in between two creeks. Nice bit of rain mate ?

Yeah I just love being stuck for two days with you for company.

OOOOHHHHH give me strength.

Bob

[Maureen K Clifford]

well the mobile phone, texting and emails have unfortunately diminished the art of meaningful and intelligent conversation - CUL8R I'm ROTFLMAO at your WTY REPRT TTFN

[Heather]

You are what Maureen?

[Maureen K Clifford]

Geeze Heather you are years younger than me and have got 4 kids what don't you get - CUL8R I'm ROTFLMAO at your WTY REPRT TTFN

Translation - See you later. I am rolling on the floor laughing my a*se off at you witty( admit that was a dodgy one) repartee...tata for now and now I am WTY - waving to you and will TTYL talk to you later WYWH wish you were here.

Not long to go now before you visit icy Ipswich then your education can really begin. don't ya reckon Leonie?

Now Ross if you learn to use this grossly abbreviated form of communication you can whittle meaningless conversations down to zilch time if you can text quickly that is. I can't and don't want to know how to text...bad enough kids today have no idea how to spell words without encouraging them.

[manfredvijars]

Language at it's best Ross - loved the monologue AND the dialogue, pure Australian ...

May we always speak Her ...

[Heather]

Maureen I got the CUL8R but you lost me after that! But then I don't text a lot and I kinda like to talk (ya think?)

Icy Ipswich got nothing on freezing Broadford Maureen. It's not worth getting out of bed until midday these days! Was told it was 28 degrees in Cairns the other day. Can't seem to warm up at the moment so looking forward to a bit of sunshine and sea air. Might not come home

Heather

[r.magnay]

Thanks Vic, good taste in music mate.

Didn't see one Neville, mind you had everything else hanging off his jinker.

Yeah Bob, a mate of mine was painting his house once, up on a scaffold slopping a bit around when this sheila walks past and says "Paintin' are yu?". "No, readin' the paper." he replied.

I doubt this bloke was a mobile phone bloke Maureen, he was a bit more of mature age than that, I'm not into it either, I did learn how to do it a couple of months back, but most of the places I go there is no mobile service anyway. You have to remember when I say I am going bush it could mean anything up to 700Km from home, with often only one or two little communities in between!

She had me confused too Heather....not that that is a great claim to fame!

Good on ya Manfred...rest assured, I always will!

By the way, apart from a little poetic licence, this is pretty much how it happened too.