Collaborative Poem 7 - Telstra troubles

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User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7553
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: Telstra troubles

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sun May 15, 2011 12:51 pm

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)


That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Bob Pacey
Moderator
Posts: 7463
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Yeppoon

Re: Telstra troubles

Post by Bob Pacey » Sun May 15, 2011 2:00 pm

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)


That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC

Well I ain't going in I tell ya
"cause I'm not a naughty fella
I've been really good of late and never stepped right out of line
And that Heather does not frighten
Her treats only serve to heighten
my resolve to keep on drinking the fruit from off the vine.

And I've got this good friend Glenny
whose feats are known by many
from places out in far west Queensland to the Sydney harbour dock
She's a really bonza sheila
with the grit of a blue heeler
and I'm told that sometimes she will even wrestle with a Croc.

Bob :lol: :lol: :lol:
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7553
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Telstra troubles

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sun May 15, 2011 3:16 pm

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)


That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny
in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC

Well I ain't going in I tell ya
"cause I'm not a naughty fella
I've been really good of late and never stepped right out of line
And that Heather does not frighten
Her treats only serve to heighten
my resolve to keep on drinking the fruit from off the vine.

And I've got this good friend Glenny
whose feats are known by many
from places out in far west Queensland to the Sydney harbour dock
She's a really bonza sheila
with the grit of a blue heeler
and I'm told that sometimes she will even wrestle with a Croc.

Bob

Ah yes, but can she wrestle Telstra?
I’ve no doubt she can, but how ta
convince them their service lacks a lot, for they show no concern.
For they’ll pontificate and bluster
but they can’t resources muster
and though croc wrestling is a skill, how will that their attitude turn?

One could get a trifle narky
some might say more bite than barky :?
but those Mumbai mumblers murder and mangle our language so
that you end up tantrums throwing
and it seems nowhere you're going
and at the end, you finish back at start…’cause they don’t want to know.


MKC
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Bob Pacey
Moderator
Posts: 7463
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Yeppoon

Re: Telstra troubles

Post by Bob Pacey » Sun May 15, 2011 8:59 pm

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)

That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny
in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC

Well I ain't going in I tell ya
"cause I'm not a naughty fella
I've been really good of late and never stepped right out of line
And that Heather does not frighten
Her treats only serve to heighten
my resolve to keep on drinking the fruit from off the vine.

And I've got this good friend Glenny
whose feats are known by many
from places out in far west Queensland to the Sydney harbour dock
She's a really bonza sheila
with the grit of a blue heeler
and I'm told that sometimes she will even wrestle with a Croc.
Bob

Ah yes, but can she wrestle Telstra?
I’ve no doubt she can, but how ta
convince them their service lacks a lot, for they show no concern.
For they’ll pontificate and bluster
but they can’t resources muster
and though croc wrestling is a skill, how will that their attitude turn?

One could get a trifle narky
some might say more bite than barky
but those Mumbai mumblers murder and mangle our language so
that you end up tantrums throwing
and it seems nowhere you're going
and at the end, you finish back at start…’cause they don’t want to know.
MKC

I'm pretty sure that she could bash them
maybe use her tongue for mayhem
I would hate to receive venom from this rhyming maniac.
Bet they hang the phone up quickly
and start feeling rather sickly
Now I've forgotten what the problem was, must try another tack.
Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7553
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Telstra troubles

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:44 am

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well be doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)

That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny
in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC

Well I ain't going in I tell ya
"cause I'm not a naughty fella
I've been really good of late and never stepped right out of line
And that Heather does not frighten
Her treats only serve to heighten
my resolve to keep on drinking the fruit from off the vine.

And I've got this good friend Glenny
whose feats are known by many
from places out in far west Queensland to the Sydney harbour dock
She's a really bonza sheila
with the grit of a blue heeler
and I'm told that sometimes she will even wrestle with a Croc.
Bob

Ah yes, but can she wrestle Telstra?
I’ve no doubt she can, but how ta
convince them their service lacks a lot, for they show no concern.
For they’ll pontificate and bluster
but they can’t resources muster
and though croc wrestling is a skill, how will that their attitude turn?

One could get a trifle narky
some might say more bite than barky
but those Mumbai mumblers murder and mangle our language so
that you end up tantrums throwing
and it seems nowhere you're going
and at the end, you finish back at start…’cause they don’t want to know.
MKC

I'm pretty sure that she could bash them
maybe use her tongue for mayhem
I would hate to receive venom from this rhyming maniac.
Bet they hang the phone up quickly
and start feeling rather sickly
Now I've forgotten what the problem was, must try another tack.
Bob


Alas the Problem is ongoing
and Telstra customers are knowing
this and talking with their feet as from Telstra they walk away,
but where to go to is the query
and the thought of it is dreary.
Perhaps we should defect to Optus or bring homing pigeons into play?

MKC
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Bob Pacey
Moderator
Posts: 7463
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Yeppoon

Re: Collaborative Poem 7 - Telstra troubles

Post by Bob Pacey » Tue Feb 16, 2016 9:51 am

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well be doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)

That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny
in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC

Well I ain't going in I tell ya
"cause I'm not a naughty fella
I've been really good of late and never stepped right out of line
And that Heather does not frighten
Her treats only serve to heighten
my resolve to keep on drinking the fruit from off the vine.

And I've got this good friend Glenny
whose feats are known by many
from places out in far west Queensland to the Sydney harbour dock
She's a really bonza sheila
with the grit of a blue heeler
and I'm told that sometimes she will even wrestle with a Croc.
Bob

Ah yes, but can she wrestle Telstra?
I’ve no doubt she can, but how ta
convince them their service lacks a lot, for they show no concern.
For they’ll pontificate and bluster
but they can’t resources muster
and though croc wrestling is a skill, how will that their attitude turn?

One could get a trifle narky
some might say more bite than barky
but those Mumbai mumblers murder and mangle our language so
that you end up tantrums throwing
and it seems nowhere you're going
and at the end, you finish back at start…’cause they don’t want to know.
MKC

I'm pretty sure that she could bash them
maybe use her tongue for mayhem
I would hate to receive venom from this rhyming maniac.
Bet they hang the phone up quickly
and start feeling rather sickly
Now I've forgotten what the problem was, must try another tack.
Bob


Alas the Problem is ongoing
and Telstra customers are knowing
this and talking with their feet as from Telstra they walk away,
but where to go to is the query
and the thought of it is dreary.
Perhaps we should defect to Optus or bring homing pigeons into play?

MKC

So did we solve the error
or are we still living in terror
it was a while ago it happened but I really want to know
so are you still there waiting
while we have been debating
everything but Telstra but that's the way we always go.

Bob P
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7553
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
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Re: Collaborative Poem 7 - Telstra troubles

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:29 pm

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanour’s pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they ain’t inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well be doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Woombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)

That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin’
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate!
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

Good to see you back here Glenny
in for a pound in for a penny
these blokes are getting out of line it seems like Telstra and the rest.
So you might be reinforcing,
Heathers punishments. Endorsing
all the naughty corner sentencing. That'll put them to the test.
MKC

Well I ain't going in I tell ya
"cause I'm not a naughty fella
I've been really good of late and never stepped right out of line
And that Heather does not frighten
Her treats only serve to heighten
my resolve to keep on drinking the fruit from off the vine.

And I've got this good friend Glenny
whose feats are known by many
from places out in far west Queensland to the Sydney harbour dock
She's a really bonza sheila
with the grit of a blue heeler
and I'm told that sometimes she will even wrestle with a Croc.
Bob

Ah yes, but can she wrestle Telstra?
I’ve no doubt she can, but how ta
convince them their service lacks a lot, for they show no concern.
For they’ll pontificate and bluster
but they can’t resources muster
and though croc wrestling is a skill, how will that their attitude turn?

One could get a trifle narky
some might say more bite than barky
but those Mumbai mumblers murder and mangle our language so
that you end up tantrums throwing
and it seems nowhere you're going
and at the end, you finish back at start…’cause they don’t want to know.
MKC

I'm pretty sure that she could bash them
maybe use her tongue for mayhem
I would hate to receive venom from this rhyming maniac.
Bet they hang the phone up quickly
and start feeling rather sickly
Now I've forgotten what the problem was, must try another tack.
Bob


Alas the Problem is ongoing
and Telstra customers are knowing
this and talking with their feet as from Telstra they walk away,
but where to go to is the query
and the thought of it is dreary.
Perhaps we should defect to Optus or bring homing pigeons into play?

MKC

So did we solve the error
or are we still living in terror
it was a while ago it happened but I really want to know
so are you still there waiting
while we have been debating
everything but Telstra but that's the way we always go.

Bob P

Oh it seems that all is quiet -
all the phones are dead - deny it
if you can please folks from Telstra - but I fear a task too hard.
Seems they've absconded to Optus
as into the soup you dropped us
and they'll go no more a roving
where there's black spots don't you know.

mkc
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7553
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Collaborative Poem 7 - Telstra troubles

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:30 pm

I might post this up onto the FB page for a bit of fun :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

User avatar
keats
Posts: 1044
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:43 pm

Re: Collaborative Poem 7 - Telstra troubles

Post by keats » Tue Feb 16, 2016 7:27 pm

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Wombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)


That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate !
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP

With an attitude myopic
You've all wandered off the topic
While poor Irene is frenzied and still hanging on the line
Her ear is growing number
And the heat from West Oz Summer
Has her waiting still for somebody to listen to her whine
NM

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