ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Seems I'm not the only one frustrated with relates at the moment so thought a collaborative poem might get rid of some frustrations!

Telstra troubles

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hadies,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hadies,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.

Bob

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Wombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Wombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Wombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)

That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate !
and staying up so bloody late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.

Bp

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Wombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)


That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate !
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.

Bp


Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.

MKC

Well, I'm feeling rather grumpy;
My demeanor's pretty jumpy
For I've spoken on the telephone to Telstra for two hours.
I'm a placid sort of person
But I've felt my temper worsen;
All I wanted was a person with decision-making powers.
IC

Well good luck with that I’m thinking
something stronger you’ll be drinking
after waiting for that mob of useless d***heads on the phone
They care not for your worry
so they aint inclined to hurry
and I doubt they really even listen to your rant and moan
MKC

Now don't be grumpy ladies,
don't wish them girls in Hades,
For they may well doing, just the best they really can.
And the answers you are seeking,
well could have those sheilas peaking,
and as far as good decisions,....well perhaps they need .........a man!....
RM

So if you are in such a hurry
just sit down and make a curry
Have a cup of tea and bickies, or a cold drink from the fridge
Just because they have an accent
it's no good reason anger to vent
You might find that they're fair dinkum and bloody ridgey- didge.
Bob

No they ain't they're all in Mumbai
'cause I made the call from Wombye
and told of the fault on my phone - detailed to them blow by blow.
But the service was appalling
and I knew these coves were stalling
when they didn't grasp the concept that my home phone didn't go.
MKC

Ridgey-didge you say now Bobby?
well I say, (and this ain’t snobby)
that the bloody lot is run you know by flamin’ septic tanks.
And our kids on unemployment
would just love to see deployment
of a scheme that puts the Aussie’s first for once and that’s a fact!
GP

firstly sorry folks for slipping
off the topic and for quipping
and for doing so I surely are deserving to be wacked
but Glenny surely must be scratching
after such an end-rhyme matching
as the one she used before me with the two words 'tanks' and 'fact'
(ow! MP)


That's it she's done my head in
'Cause I was really kinda dreadin
Putting up some words to follow such a misdirected post.
But she has been out the bush mate !
and been staying up so dammed late.
doing free concerts in Theodore "cause she's such a genial host.
Bp

Well if you listen to those speaking
on Telstra’s behalf you freaking
well know their grasp of English is more than just a trifle bad
It’s the accent that’s alarming,
in no way is it disarming,
and do any find it charming? Doubtful. It just makes me mad.
MKC

Well, we use ‘Old China’ for a plate
which then alludes to saying ‘mate’
and you my lad would understand the ‘rubbity’ in fact
so you see, a tank in action
would endure a rhyming fraction
of vernacular, allowing for ‘the act’.
GP

And to you my dearest Bobby
I'm so grateful that you lobby
for allowances to be applied to my poor flagging brain
for that stirring little blighter
saying I should rhyme much righter
has unknowingly revived my fighting spirit yet again.
GP