COLLABORATIVE POEM 2 - CYPRESS RIDGE

[Terry]

Hi Glenny,
Where have you been hiding we've missed you.

Regards Terry

[Zondrae]

G'day Glenny,

I am with Terry in wondering what marvels you've been up to. We need your guidance so please pop in much more often.
All assistance most appreciated.

[Trace]

It started at the local hall with the girl guides and the scouts,
But quickly spread to Bunnings, his secret clearly out,
Then adopted by the yuppies and the cubbies 'cross the land
Demanding that their roo meat carry Cypress Ridge's brand

TB - first time post

[Bellobazza]

G'day all...
I feel as though I should refrain from comment since I've not contributed to the collaboration but I can't help myself.
From what I've read here, I get the impression (I'm often wrong) that syllable count is being used as the main criteria in judging metre. To quote from an earlier post...

"...each syllable has emphasis,
some more while some get less.
In poetry the metre is
dictated by the STRESS."

For an example, this by some obscure scribbler...
"To be, or not to be: that is the question"

This line is arguably the most famous line of Iambic Pentameter ever written and yet...
Let's see: ELEVEN syllables! Not only that, TWO stressed syllables together! (Not to mention at least two caesuras).
What the??
Well, most of the feet are Iambs and there are FIVE stresses. So, yes, iambic pentameter. But the poet has employed a "feminine ending" (final syllable unstressed) and a "trochaic substitution" (...to be: that is the question.")
If we keep fixating on syllable count we'll always have problems with metre, especially if we want to progress into more complex expressions of thought.
So let's put the emphasis back on STRESS, hey? (pardon the pun).

Cheers, Will.

[Zondrae]

Good thought Will,

But did you read the recent post by David Campbell? Judge and multi-multi award winning poet?
He says the still uses the syllable count as the first yard stick.

[Bellobazza]

'G'day Zondrae...
I did read David's post with great interest, however I don't know if that is exactly what David (for whom I have the greatest respect and admiration) is saying. Certainly he states that when judgeing, he begins by counting syllables and making sure that stresses fall where they should.
Be that as it may, I'm sure David would be the first to agree that judgeing and critiqueing is a very different process to creating. There are innumerable examples of poetry that are acknowleged as great and even inspired, that include lines of (in some cases widely) varying syllable counts.

I still think that slavish syllable counting in the creative phase can be diverting or at least distracting from the main game: communicating your thoughts and ideas in a rhythmic way.

Cheers, Will.