Merry Christmas et al

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Zondrae
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Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Zondrae » Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:45 am

(..I bet you didn't write this)

Blow being Politically correct.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you Marty (the boy)
Zondrae King
a woman of words

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Bellobazza
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Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Bellobazza » Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:08 am

Thank you Marty...(I think :roll: )

I would reciprocate, but I don't have recourse to a legal dept.

P.S. You forgot to include the "I accept / do not accept this felicitation" option.

Cheers, Will.
"Each poet that I know (he said)
has something funny in his head..." CJD

Trisha Patterson

Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Trisha Patterson » Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:13 pm

Thats sooo good Marty!! Merry Christmas!
Trish

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Dave Smith
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Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Dave Smith » Tue Dec 07, 2010 7:41 pm

Dear Mr Barty Moyce
We the undersigned accept your felicitation on behalf of and for all the Chooks and Bantams within hailing distance of yourself at this Yule time providing that you have made no AXEdental omissions from the said felicitations.

Yours in good faith. :lol: :lol:

TTFN 8-)
I Keep Trying

Suzanne
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Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Suzanne » Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:48 pm

Reciprical wishes are hererby transferred and extended from the wishee to the wishor, therefore reversing the title. These wishes are extended to all regardless of the warranty period. My you receive blessings from Our Lord and pressies from Father Christmas.

Suzanne

manfredvijars

Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by manfredvijars » Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:43 pm

... yair, wishin youse all a ripper Chrissie, and any PCs out there who may be offended can stick that in their pizzicatos and strum it!! ... :)

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Irene
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Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Irene » Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:38 am

Well written, Marty B!!!!!

Merry christmas to you and yours.

Catchya
Irene
What goes around, comes around.

Darren

Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Darren » Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:15 pm

The restrictions these days are just crazy. Kindergartens can't celebrate Xmas for fear of offending. I was very glad to see the Victorian RTA get a kick from their Minister when they announced that they were not going to have a minutes silence for Remembrance day. Little by little things get eroded till they are no more. We all need to stand up sometimes and be counted. We celebrate Xmas and as a nation we should not be afraid to say so.

Merry Xmas to one and all.

Leonie

Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by Leonie » Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:31 pm

That was good for a giggle Marty. There's another one floating around about Christmas Carols and the health and safety issues.

Here tis ...

Conflict of Interest, Health , Safety & Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

1. Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way .

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on.

The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.


2. While Shepherds Watched
While Shepherds Watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around .

The Shepherds Union has complained that it breaches Health and Safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that, due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year, they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.

Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around he / she must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.


3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows .

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities act, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.


4. We Three Kings
We Three Kings
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star .

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold', etc. - gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient's name or perhaps give a gift voucher.

We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC Routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels' hooves.


5. Away in a Manger
Away in a Manger
No Crib for a bed.

DHS should be immediately contacted as mangers are not suitable places of rest for newborn babies due to unsanitary conditions, sharing with animals, lack of proper ventilation and no access to running fresh water and heating. Therefore under no circumstances should a crib be put in a manger. A risk assessment should also be carried out before allowing animals to occupy said manger - are there tethering facilities, running water, and food receptacles. If not, the manger should not be used and the animals should be removed and housed elsewhere (but still not with the Baby Jesus).


You must be fully cognisant of your responsibilities re a full declaration/conflict of interest considerations/Asset register.

manfredvijars

Re: Merry Christmas et al

Post by manfredvijars » Wed Dec 08, 2010 10:19 pm

Randolph, the BROWN nosed reindeer
was feeling rather sickly ....
He could run as fast as Rudolph
... but couldn't STOP as quickly ... :o

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