My Worst Gig Ever ...

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Shelley Hansen
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My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Shelley Hansen » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:58 pm

Hello All ...

As suggested by Glenny, this is a new thread carried on from the previous "Poetry as Entertainment" theme started by David.

The worst gig Rod and I ever experienced was in a little town called Theebine, just south of where we live in Maryborough Queensland. One of the locals is professional country music singer Graeme Jensen - whose claim to fame is that he came second in the Tamworth Golden Guitar ... to Troy Cassar-Daley!

About three times a year, in between his travels, Graeme organises a community event at the Theebine Hall. He headlines it and invites other artists to join. It is all properly set up with sound system and so on. Dinner is cooked by volunteers and tables and chairs are set up in the hall - with a clear area between them and the stage to allow for items of entertainment for the kids, in between the adult acts. Can you see where I'm heading??

We were asked to perform some of our heritage-themed pieces, so we turned up in our 1860s costumes. By the time we got to perform, the kids were well fuelled up on softdrink and had already had several items staged in the "moshpit" for their benefit. The boys were chasing the girls with brown beetles and the girls were squealing obligingly. We didn't have a hope. Graeme made several valiant attempts to shush them, and asked the parents to take charge, but the parents, well fuelled on their own kind of "softdrink", simply didn't care.

The adults at the tables, unable to hear us, just talked louder, and louder, and louder. The kids squealed louder, and louder, and louder. We could have been reciting "the boy stood on the burning deck" for all our audience knew or cared. This went on for every act - not just us. Even Graeme, an excellent professional entertainer well used to priming and wooing his audiences, could not be heard. Some of the guest acts simply refused to go on.

It was an outstanding display of audience bad manners. It wasn't as if the kids were being neglected - they had plenty of chances to run and play between acts, and plenty of acts designed especially for them.

We learnt a lot - and no, we haven't been back to Theebine since!

A side issue - something else we learnt was not to rely on sound equipment designed for singing rather than speaking. We have since bought our own PA and audio system designed for the speaking voice - which delivers a clarity you never get with music-configured equipment.

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
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"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Glenny Palmer
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Glenny Palmer » Mon Jun 29, 2015 1:02 pm

Oooh that's a corker Shelley. Been there, done that. Country dances are the ones! During one I did, the kids were all in the Lades loo where a dirty big green frog abided. A ring of fascinated kids were hung over the toilet bowl with accompanying squeals etc. Then I was called to stage, & as I valiantly forged on, undaunted by The Gypsy Tap, the nominated 'frog eradictor' bloke marched past me, green frog dangling precariously from his fingers, held high in the air to exhibit his great prowess....and a line of squealing kids following him.

Maybe we should all get together & produce an anthology of 'My Worst Gigs?'......... :lol:
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Shelley Hansen » Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:09 pm

Dear me, I'm glad we didn't have a frog to add to our comedy of errors ... that would really have made us croak!! (Sorry) :lol:

I do remember attending a gig of Mel and Susie's at the Apple Tree Creek Hall - where there was a frog in the ladies' loo, but although it caused some ladies to decide their need was not so great, it didn't disrupt the performance! However in the break, after Mel had done her classic poem "The Piddle Riddle" about all the things we hate most about public toilets, we just had to suggest that she add a verse about a green amphibian visitor!! Not sure if she ever did.

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Stephen Whiteside
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Stephen Whiteside » Wed Jul 01, 2015 12:11 pm

I think my worst gig ever was the first time I performed at Newstead Live! I hadn't been performing much, and was pretty rusty. I had also become over-dependent on some visual props I had made and, as a result of misreading the programme, I had to go on without them. I had not given myself enough time to retrieve them from the car. I felt absolutely sick for about the first five minutes, and gradually got into my groove after that.

The funny thing was that my son, who was in his late teens at the time, spent the weekend hanging out with the festival's top performers - they sort of adopted him for a little while. He found himself sitting around a table with them at midnight, when the subject of my performance earlier in the day came up. (They didn't know he was my son.) One them said, "That guy this afternoon, he looked so ill at ease I wanted to run out of the marquee!"

Wisely, my son never told them who his father was...
Last edited by Stephen Whiteside on Wed Jul 01, 2015 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
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Neville Briggs
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Neville Briggs » Wed Jul 01, 2015 1:01 pm

Well at least, Stephen, he apparently didn't run out of the marquee. :)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Glenny Palmer
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Glenny Palmer » Wed Jul 01, 2015 3:04 pm

Oh poor you Stephen. Hopefully you've been back & shown them how it's done now! Thanks for sharing. :D
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Stephen Whiteside » Wed Jul 01, 2015 3:25 pm

Yes, the wheel has turned full circle.

Several years later I was asked to be Director of the Spoken Word Programme at Newstead. After doing that for a couple of years, the Festival Director said to me "Thanks for putting the Spoken Word Programme back on track. It wasn't before."

I thought that was very nice.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
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Glenny Palmer
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Glenny Palmer » Wed Jul 01, 2015 5:43 pm

Forging on gets the results, eh Stephen? Goodonya! :P
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Neville Briggs » Wed Jul 01, 2015 6:31 pm

Every gig I do is the worst gig I've done.
Neville
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Stephen Whiteside
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Re: My Worst Gig Ever ...

Post by Stephen Whiteside » Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:14 pm

Persistence, Glenny. Nothing beats it!

Don't say that, Neville. That can't be true anyway - unless they are all identical, in which case they are also all your best gigs!
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
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