Reading poetry

[David J Delaney]

Dave. That's an interesting example, though not what I was talking about. What was the comp?

G'day Neville, the comp was the 'Reef writers/Port Douglas gazette' short story & poetry competition.

Dave.

[Neville Briggs]

Sounds good Dave.

[Glenny Palmer]

and.....I've said it before....which is not unusual for me....If you can try to think of how to ''say something without saying it''; that has an excellent impact, because you will be ''painting a word picture'' free from what I label as ''documentary'' writing. Neville's examples allude to this. A favourite example of mine to demonstrate this is from my Dad's pen. He was writing on ''how the Boss runs a mighty business from the front seat of his car'' (Dad was a plant operator & dozer driver). He progressed on to moan about how the townie younger generation goof off at work.....& this is how he put it.

''...and they sit there at their ease
with their trousers half pulled down
and their elbows on their knees....''

Nowhere at all did he mention their loafing in the toilet! But the word picture he painted conveyed his meaning perfectly. This, I call genius. (a tad biased perhaps...?)

Anyway....think on that & take a ''documentary'' line from one of your poems & see how you may be able to craft it into a more ''poetic'' form. I hope this is helpful. (One bloke I helped, years ago now, took my advice solidly to heart... & promptly knocked me into 2nd place in The Henry Lawson comp........deep sigh.) Seriously though....I do hope this helps.

Cheeers
Glenny

[Neville Briggs]

Fantastic Glenny, I knew you would know what I meant That's it.

Just to use an analogy, The Australian art critic ( can't remember his name just at the moment ) said that if one were to paint a portrait by carefully following all the minute details of the subject, the result would not look like them. He said that an artist needs to
" look through " the superficial appearance and bring to view the " real person ".

We don't need to use way out language like some of the contemporary poets do. But we can learn from them how to " look through" in a more expressive way, and as you have so ably demonstrated adapt what we learn to the voice of the bush poet.

At least that is what I am attempting to teach myself. Not getting too far yet, I'm a slow learner and a weak teacher.

[Bob Pacey]

Big words do not a scholar make.

" Most people fail not because of their ability but because of their personality "


Bob

[Neville Briggs]

I don't know what most people do Bob.
Like you, I see myself as having a passion for poetry , so I keep plugging away trying to figure out how the people who are so good at it managed to become good at it.

I reckon you're right, big words are not in themselves the path to learning. But unfortunately jargon words are. In any occupation whether it is musician, shearer, truck driver, writer, butcher, clerk, public servant or poet, to get a handle on the job, you have to come to grips with the jargon words. There's no way round it.

[manfredvijars]

Big words do not a scholar make.


Bob

"do not a scholar make" ?????? .... 6 demerit points for the INVERSION!!!

Sorry Bob ... you've just been booted out of the comp ...

[Bob Pacey]

But is there a better way to change the emphasis, How else can you make the point. ?


What Comp ???? I did not know entered I.

Bob

[manfredvijars]

... easy ... "Big words don't make a scholar Mate!!!" ..
There you go Bob, un-inverted (and Australianised to boot) ...

[Glenny Palmer]

Wot ''big words'' Bob....?? I don't recall using any inordinately big words. (te he)