is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

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tom mcilveen
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is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by tom mcilveen » Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:30 am

is 'confined' too close to 'find' ???would i be penalised in written poetry ???? struggling to find an......'ind' word that fits my new poem...

regards
tom mcilveen

Frank Daniel

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by Frank Daniel » Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:58 am

From Rhymezone I found the following 1 syllable rhyming words and the two syllable rhyming words.
As 'confined' is a two syllable word, then I would suggest you aim for a two-syllable word as a rhyme.
I hope this is some help,
Joe


1 syllable:
bind, blind, dined, find, fined, freind, grind, hind, kind, lined, mind, mined, pined, rind, shined, signed, twined, wind, wined

2 syllables:
affined, aligned, assigned, behind, break wind, cheese rind, combined, consigned, declined, defined, designed, east wind, elkind, enshrined, entwined, field mind, fly blind, get wind, inclined, in kind, maligned, mankind, north wind, opined, reclined, refined, remind, resigned, rock hind, south wind, trade wind, unkind, unlined, unsigned, unwind, west wind

Leonie

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by Leonie » Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:17 am

I use Rhymezone a lot too but sometimes it just adds to the confusion. I know it's out of the good ol' USA (I think) but does anybody really pronounce wind, as in north wind, west wind or break wind :o as whined. And there's one they left out whine, every pom knows that one.

Sorry ... leaving now. :oops:

In my defense I live with one .. a pom that is .. so I know about these things.

william williams

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by william williams » Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:34 am

good one Frank thanks for helping out a newcomer

now english is a so and so language but in those two syllable words that you used there are 6 words that I find hard to understand
these are
east wind that states the direction
south wind that states the direction
west wind that states the direction
north wind that states the direction
trade wind a wind that the trade clippers ships used
break wind oops rude sound
those words to me break the pattern and flow when used with other words as you have stated

Bill the ignorent one W
Last edited by william williams on Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Kym

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by Kym » Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:35 am

Leonie's right there, don't be fooled by the words looking as though they should rhyme. They are sight rhymes, not proper rhymes. Listen to the word, spelling has nothing to do with rhyme.

And to rhyme with confined, doesn't necessarily requre a two syllable word. "she's blind" would rhyme, as would "dog pined" ... as long as the stressed syllables match.

I think it's the repetition of the 'f' sound in both words that is more the problem. Try to find a rhyming word that uses a different consonant. Some would say that's not an issue, but it one of those 'debatables' that get people arguing, so I suggest just avoid the problem and find an alternative word.

Clear as mud, right???

K.

Neville Briggs
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Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by Neville Briggs » Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:21 pm

If anyone cares to read the late Graham Fredricksen's poem " Fleet Red Horses " posted by Manfred in the Users Poetry you will see that Graham Fredricksen has used these pairs as rhymes,
friend..wind
me ....Araby
servitude...wood
pride..undenied
mansuetude...brotherhood
quietude...could

Does this make this poem poor quality, NEVER It is one of the best poems ever seen on this forum.

Poetry is not a scientific mathematical formula. There are traditional accepted forms, but ALL of the forms can be subject to variation and substitution.
Even Henry Lawson in his poem Talbragar rhymed rise..eyes, began..man. In the strictest terms these are not true rhymes because they pair long and short syllables. And Will Ogilvie in his poem Where the Brumbies come to Water, rhymes home..come,
Dear oh dear, the "judges" would have to take marks off Lawson and Ogilvie, tut tut not proper bush poetry..

And don't forget , never forget. Poetry does not have to rhyme to be poetry, It has to have something else. Read Graham Fredricksen's poem slowly, several times and see if you can see what it is.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

warooa

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by warooa » Sun Feb 13, 2011 8:33 pm

Neville Briggs wrote: And don't forget , never forget. Poetry does not have to rhyme to be poetry
Truer words not spoken Nev . . . but hey, (dare I say) don't forget - bush poetry does mate.

Cheers, Marty ;)

Vic Jefferies
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Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 8:21 am

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by Vic Jefferies » Mon Feb 14, 2011 12:04 pm

Sorry but I Posted this in the wrong spot:

Neville I couldn't agree more! Graham Fredericksen's poem is outstanding and in my opinion is by any measure a great poem. However as you say if it were entered in a competition how would it be judged? Under the current system he would lose marks for inaccurate rhymes and the literary content of the piece may not carry the day. Then of course there exists the problem of the uneven verses with the last verse only having four lines where the rest have eight. Probably lose points there too.
Graham chose not to commence each line with a capital which could be a problem for some judges who prefer the traditional capital at each line beginning. The deletion of a capital is only a matter of fashion which crept into poetry about the middle of last century and was mainly introduced by those who wrote free verse so I see it as as a matter of choice that should not be penalised either way.
However having said all that this is bush poetry and the rules demand consistent and accurate rhyme so the judges would be right to apply the rules and deduct points even if it meant a lesser poem won!
However I dare say Graham's poem will still be read in twenty years time and perhaps even after that.The winning poem may very probably disappear never to be heard again, despite its correct rhyme and meter and conforming with the rules.
So who is the real winner?


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Neville Briggs
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Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by Neville Briggs » Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:07 pm

G'day Marty. There's a difference between what is and what must be.
I still haven't figured out what cosmic divine authority has decreed what bush poetry has to be. hmmmmm :roll:

I think you are certainly right Vic. What lasts will tell us what is worthwhile.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

manfredvijars

Re: is 'confined' ok to rhyme with 'find' or too close????

Post by manfredvijars » Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:34 pm

Neville Briggs wrote: friend..wind
me ....Araby
servitude...wood
pride..undenied
mansuetude...brotherhood
quietude...could
Sorry Nev, your examples are a tad incomplete ...

now are loose --- Pegasus
gallant friend --- on the wind.
were to me --- Araby,
servitude —-- (Appa)loosan Wood

hear them call --- (Val)halla’s hall
hot with pride --- Undenied,
unto me --- master be
mansuetude --- Brotherhood

etc.

Here's a few more from another thread ...


I'm sure he's fine, as far as "English" poets go Nev, but as far as multi-syllabic end-rhymes go, I'll see your 'Whitworth' and raise you a "Fredriksen" ...

Here are the first three of fifteen stanzas of "PATERSON’S YELLOW BAY"

_________________________________

At fifty years of age, poet A.B. ‘Banjo’ Paterson enlisted in the A.I.F.
in the Great War. He served in Egypt and the Holy Lands as an officer
in the 2nd Aust. Remount Unit (nicknamed the ‘Horse-dung Hussars’).

PATERSON’S YELLOW BAY
(c) Graham Fredriksen

I’ll tell you a tale from the gone days of glory when
.... Australia’s Lighthorse was a fearsome machine;
rough-riders, rough horses—the stars of this story—when
.... I was in Egypt in nineteen sixteen.
Ah! nineteen sixteen, back in old Heliopolis:
.... pyramids, ruins and temples of yore,
from the times when the town was a Roman metropolis—
.... what battles those columns and cobblestones saw !

But sackings by Saladin, sieges Napoleon,
.... scarce held a match to the wars that went down
when we came along with our horses unholy, and
.... formed a Remount Unit depot in town.
Army Remounts: it was our job distributing
.... fresh horses to regiments spread far and wide;
but at times we were saddled with rogues and this tribute in
.... part is to outlaws no one else would ride:

The scourings of all of the equine Australia,
.... steeds for whom Lucifer served as a sire,
were re-handled till troops in full paraphernalia
.... could climb aboard safely and ride under fire.
We bagged them, we lunged them, we rode them down wadis till
.... we tempered their temperament—hock deep in sand;
we long-reined, we short-reined, we pet them like poddies till
.... even the worst of them ate from our hand.

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