Is Bush Poetry getting 'Boring' ???

[manfredvijars]

We Poets have a rich and wonderful palette available to us. And we dip our brushes into a small portion of that richness to paint our masterpieces. We seem to have a reasonable grasp of Metre and Rhyme, stanza construction, absolute and feminine endrhymes, enjambment, alliteration etc. Yet, many of us tend to write our pieces in a documentary style excluding some of the richness of the 'pallette'.

What I don't see too much of is Metaphor and Simile to embelish the good foundational elements listed above.

Last night I had occasion to coach my best Mate and travel companion (my Grandie) for his upcoming Poetry exam. One of the pieces being studied was "The Highwayman" Alfred Noyes (1880-1958)


THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
And the bushranger came riding—
Riding—riding—
The bushranger came riding, up to the old inn-door.


I couldn't help but notice the impactful use of metaphor in the first stanza ... and then the fourth stanza, metaphor AND simile on the same line ...


And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say—

... should we look a little closer at the use (NOT overuse) of metaphor and simile in or pieces?

I post this, NOT as a criticism of any Poet or any piece, but as an observation and wonder if these comments have merit ...


M.

[Maureen K Clifford]

I read what you wrote with interest for dullness I deplore
and your words held a spark of truth and I avidly searched for more
our poems cover many topics, as interest we try to pique
but a sameness is descending,
descending – descending
yes a sameness is descending, and no doubt they need a tweak.

It is quiet sometimes on the forum – seems no one lingers there
and you troll through older postings, reading of hurt and despair.
You could descend to madness, at the spelling glitches you see
But I love my fellow poets
my talented friends and poets
so I tend to overlook them, pray they get a dictionary.

[Maureen K Clifford]

'Wanky?' What have you been reading you naughty boy?

[Bob Pacey]

NO


Bob

Unlike Zondrae I'm a man of few words.

[Neville Briggs]

I agree Manfred that we all should strive to use more of what you call the rich palette.

One of the major poets ( from memory ) said that poets should be able to talk about ordinary things in a way that allows people to see these things in a fresh way. I think that there are lots of ways for poets to be surprising and new, you would need to write a book to cover the question . Some have
And I think you are right, well chosen similes and metaphors make vivid images to put into the verse.

I don't think we need to worry about becoming pretentious with such things, similes and metaphors are a well established part of the bush lingo, we probably haven't thought of them in those technical terms.
Calling someone a yellow dingo or a cringing cur, is using a metaphor. The old flat out like a lizard drinking is a simile, lower than a snakes ar...ole is a metaphor, One of my bosses coined a great one, he told one of the staff that he was so untidy he looked like an unmade bed walking around. A simile. And it stuck to that bloke as a nick-name after that. Everyone knew who " the unmade bed " was.
..you get the picture, there is plenty of colour on the bush poetry palette of Aussie language without needing to be "pretentious".

Good subject to bring up Manfred.

If we think we are getting too ordinary and predictable , my suggestion is to read widely. read all sorts of poetry. You don't have to like everything, just read it so your appreciation is widened. At least if you know what varied colours are available on the poet's palette you have found for yourself a treasury of choices. It's up to you what you choose to use.

[Neville Briggs]

Tony Hancock, in his hilarious episode The Poetry Society, does a take on the Highwayman....

He wore a cocked hat on his forehead
and a bunch of lace at his chin.
And the Highwayman came riding
With his whiskers soaked in gin...

[Vic Jefferies]

Couldn't agree more Manfred.
There is a sameness in much of our current poetry and it is becoming boring.
I think we tend to concentrate too much on the theme or the story we are attempting to tell and not enough on the way we express or convey that story.
Doesn't mean we have to get flash but that we merely have to try and say something in a different way.
Often it is the phraseology as much as the metre and the rhyme that makes a poem interesting.
The example you use of The Highwayman is a great example of this!
"Poetry is the very best thoughts, expressed in the very best way using the very best words."
Vic

[Terry]

IMO Your partly Right Manfred,
I wouldn't go so far as to say boring, but agree we should strive to enrich our poems as you suggest. (Glenny has been trying to get that message across for as long as I can remember).

I also think we could make better use of rhythms, one I really like is x/xx/xx/xx/

Here's a couple of lines from the 'Butcherbird's Song' I'm not suggesting this is a world beater, but this almost musical rhythm has always appealed to me.


While colours are plain in the dawns hazy light,
he's white as the snow and as black as the night,

Dressed up in pied colours, he flies 'long the track,
and heralds the dusk as it shrouds the outback.

I agree with Neville it' s good subject,

Terry

Terry

[Terry]

Have another look at Henry Kendalls Bell Birds Marty, It's written with much the same meter as that example I gave.
But you do raise a good point, if we stick to the tried and proven and do it REALLY WELL we'll still end up with some worthwhile poems.

I also think that if people get over involved in any sort of poetry some tend to get negative about it, possibly why over the years some have moved onto free verse etc, which in time will (if they live long enough) also become boring. I suspect that painting and music have suffered much the same fate.

We humans are like that, otherwise we probably wouldn't have advanced to where we are to-day (for better or worse)

Cheers Terry