Is this bush poetry

[Neville Briggs]

Since this is the Poetry Discussion page. I've put this part of a poem up to see what bush poets think about this as a bush poem. It's in iambic metre and rhymes.( Not one of mine).

Winters at home brought wind
black frost and raw
grey rain in barbed-wire fields
but never more

until the day my uncle
rose at dawn
and stepped outside- to find
his paddocks gone,

his cattle to their hocks
in ghostly ground
and unaccustomed light
for miles around.

And he stopped short, and gazed
lit from below,
and half his wrinkles vanished
murmuring Snow.

[Bob Pacey]

Winters at home brought wind black frost and raw
grey rain in barbed-wire fields but never more
until the day my uncle rose at dawn
and stepped outside- to find his paddocks gone.

His cattle to their hocks in ghostly ground
and unaccustomed light for miles around.
And he stopped short, and gazed lit from below,
and half his wrinkles vanished, murmuring Snow.

There ya go Nev fixed it for ya

Bob
Bob

[Neville Briggs]

So you are satisifed that it works as bush poetry ?

[Peely]

G'day Neville

Without seeing the whole poem, I can't give you a definite answer as to whether it could or couldn't be considered as bush poetry. There is nothing in this sample that really hints of "Australianity" (it is a word, listed in my Macquarie Dictionary as "a quality or set of qualities said to be distinctively or characteristically Australian", synonymous with Australianness) as required under the ABPA definition, "about Australia, Australians or the Australian way of life" even though it does fit the "rhymed and metred" criteria. With what I can see though, I would be more inclined to say no.

Regards


John Peel

[Maureen K Clifford]

Interesting question Neville and my answer would have been yes but was interested in Peely saying he thought not as it contained nothing about Australia or Australians in its format.

My thought as I was reading it was a bush cocky somewhere near the hight country perhaps so that puzzled me a bit and I rewrote it as follows - so would that not qualify as Bush Poetry? Because the words are essentially the same


Cold winters lashing barbed wire fields – raw winds and slick black frost,
but never more and just as well else all the stock be lost.
One day my uncle rose at dawn and stepped outside to find
the dry and windswept paddocks gone. Had he now lost his mind?

His cattle stood on ghostly ground in unaccustomed light
he stopped and gazed but all around everything had turned white.
Shivering cattle stood hock deep and Uncle said ‘I’ll be blowed”
his wrinkles seemed to dissipate as he yelled out “It’s snowed.”

Just curious now

Cheers

Maureen

[Bob Pacey]

A no on this front as well Nev,

Just the same as standing in a garage door does not make you a car.

Bob

[william williams]

okay Neville
I've used exactly your words and arranged the pauses as I would say it

Winters at home brought wind black frost,
and raw grey rain in barbed-wire fields.
But never more until the day,
my uncle rose at dawn, and stepped outside,
to find his paddocks gone, his cattle to their hocks,
in ghostly ground and unaccustomed light
for miles around, and he stopped short, and gazed,
lit from below, and half his wrinkles vanished, murmuring,
Snow!

why does not the message show exactly as I have placed it on the forum bill williams

well I would dissagree with the previous answer because both Bob and Maureen have seen little snow and Peely he would have seen enough to think how often have farmers in the high country have seen this just like that though it does not say Australia it could quite well be just that. Just like sitting around a campfire telling tales does not make it Australian why it could be outback America

Bill the old battler

[Bob Pacey]

Bill I'll only say research is good and goggle is your friend ?????




Bob

[Neville Briggs]

Very interesting replies...very interesting. I'll have to get back later with my thoughts after considering the replies.

There's nothing in the poem that identifies it as Australian in a topographical sense except the words " at home ".
It is indeed about rural Australia, in fact a particular place. To know that, you would need to know the author and the author's history, to identify what is meant by " at home ".
So I think Peely's sort of right, the context is important in understanding. And I would add that the understanding of any poem is greatly enhanced by knowledge of the author.

[Maureen K Clifford]

working on that criteria then at least 50% of my stuff would also not be Bush Poetry (although I classify it as such) because it could be considered generic and could be about anywhere. So if we put Australia in the first line will that make it right???? Or even better a Koala up a gum tree and kangaroos in the top paddock.

I didn't know the author but to me it showed a picture of Australia, possible to an American it might depict their home

As for snow Bill I have seen heaps of snow. I am a Pommie by birth Cold wet mushy slushy horrible stuff that I could never understand why people out here paid such huge amounts of money to go and see it and play in it. I hate the stuff...came to Australia to get away from it.