More about rhymes

[Terry]

Hi Bob,
I must admit I couldn't place Rita but took it for granted she was one talented lady, if you know her pass on my congratulations.

Hope you have a great night celebrating your birthday.

Cheers Terry

[warooa]

G'day Terry,

and as long as you don't make the mistake - as I think I've done previously - by using, for eg

beneath these burning sands here lie the bones of many men.
I cross the sun baked clay-pans on the desert fringe again;

and later in the same poem using, for eg

my syntax it was suffering, the cause of untold pain,
as all my rhyming wherewithal deserted me again.

I'm assuming that is correct, that once you use that pronunciation you must not chop and change to suit your end rhymes within the one poem?

Cheers, Marty

[Bob Pacey]

A very good point Marty,

What do our judges think ?????


Bob

[David Campbell]

Thanks for the congrats Terry, and good to hear the advice was useful. Marty is correct...once you fix on a pronunciation for 'again' in a poem, then stick to it!

Cheers
David

[Terry]

G/day Marty,
That's a very good point, it had me quickly running through the poem to check. fortunately I hadn't used it again or agen,
it's little things like that which can so often catch you out.

It's amazing how you can read someones poem and pick up most little errors but completely miss the same things in your own.

We're very fortunate to have experienced people Like David and Glenny to call upon, as well as the whole crew of regulars who are always happy to pass on anything they think may help.

Terry

[Maureen K Clifford]

Just out of curiosity - were you to write a piece that had say two characters speaking within it - one an old bushie who might well say 'agen' and the other perhaps a magistrate who would certainly say ' again' - providing the vernacular was kept pertinent to whoever was speaking at the time - would that be acceptable??????

[David Campbell]

Hi Maureen

It's a good question. Here's an example where it could work:

The old bloke stood and bowed his head.
"I ain't like other men
wot knows the law 'cause they're well-read...
I won't do it agen."

The magistrate said: "Oh, indeed!"
and sniffed with great disdain.
"So take six months, with time to read,
and don't come back again!"

This also illustrates the different ways in which "read" can be pronounced, and the importance of having the questionable word as the second of the rhymes.

Cheers
David

[Neville Briggs]

JE NE SAIS QUOI


I got this poem written out
and had the rhyme just so, but then
I found a gremlin in the rhyme
and had to set it out again.
This process caused me quite some pain;
to have to do the work again.
They say, a poem's not what's written;
a poem's what you have rewritten.
So, I must now take up the strain
of thinking out those lines again,
and when I'm done, let's hope that when
I check it; it's not wrong again!!!

[Maureen K Clifford]

Thanks David your explanation is very clear - confess that something like this would not even have crossed my mind, a lot of things that are bought up here don't cross my mind - I am definitely one of the simple brigade Marty problem that is more than half of my problem.

[Terry]

Hi David & Maureen,
There are lots of little things that can trip you up, but I think it's fun trying to learn them.

Hi Marty,
I understand what you're saying.
But that's poetry for you, we all have differing likes and dislikes.
I must be a masochist because I actually enjoy the challenge of trying to to get things as perfect as possible, I doubt I will ever quite manage it, but I certainly enjoy trying. (I probably write some of those dogs you mentioned mate)

Cheers Terry