More about rhymes

[Terry]

I have this thing about rhymes.
If it doesn't look like a rhyme I find it mentally hard to accept it as one. But sometime it's hard not to accept one of these.

I will give an example of what I'm going on about and would love to hear what others think of these sort of things.


'I cross the sun baked clay-pans on the desert fringe again; (agen)
beneath these burning sands here lie the bones of many men.'

Any dictionary will give the two pronunciations AGAIN or AGEN

I wonder if the above sentence would be acceptable say in a competition and if so should you highlight in brackets the way it's meant to be pronounced, as I have done in this example?

Cheers Terry

[Terry]

G/day Marty,
I sometimes try to put myself in the place of the judge in a written competition (heaven help the poor old contestants) and wonder how I would treat something like this. In this case I would probably pass it because as I mentioned before, look it up in the dictionary and it gives both pronunciations, but whether a qualified judge would agree could be a different matter.

Like you I would have no problem as far as reciting goes.

And well spotted, If I have a thing about rhymes, I'd be battling to find a more apt place to visit.

Cheers Terry

[Bob Pacey]

I too have a thing about rhymes Terry and I would not use it at all.

I find it hard to justify when there are so many words out there that can be easily substituted.

Don't know about the judges but from my point of view when in doubt chuck it out !!!

Best not to take the risk.


Oh I'm older then Marty so my advice is years ahead of his. !!!!


Old Bob

[Neville Briggs]

What I found more interesting Terry, is what you might make of those lines about dead men under the clay pans....tell us more...

[Bob Pacey]

Hey yeah you came home early form your trip. Did ya find something ???


You can tell us mate we can keep a secret !!!!!!


Golden treasure guarded by the remains of attack kangaroos.

WWWWOOOOO Bob

[David Campbell]

Terry

I would certainly allow both pronunciations in judging a written competition as both are legitimate. One thing you might try, however (just to be safe!), is to ensure that the 'again' rhyme is placed second...that way a judge is warned of what's coming. For example, from one of my poems:

He dreams a mighty floodtide comes sweeping down the plain,
restoring all that's vanished and bringing life again.

Cheers
David

[Glenny Palmer]

Ditto from me David....you saved me writing half a page. (You all know my brevity gene is missing.)

[Terry]

Hi Bob,
Gee you'd be a tough judge mate, lust warn me if you're about to judge something and I'll try to avoid it.

Neville, Marty & Bob again
You could treat this as a cold case and the deaths were by misadventure well over 100 years ago, (that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

Terry

[Terry]

Hi David,
thanks for taking the time to answer this, your advice is always appreciated.

And by the way Congratulations on your recent Bundaberg results, 3 in the top twenty including 1st & 3rd.

Thanks Glenny,
I reckon if I'm going to ask a question I might as well aim for the top, I've certainly scored a double here.

Regards Terry

[Bob Pacey]

Watch out for the lady squeezed in the middle they Terry.

Rita Diplock a voice from the unknown but a very talented writer and she tells me she has a few other irons in the fire.


Bob