Homework August 23 - Ooops

All Registered Forum Users can participate in the writing exercises for the current fortnight.
Users can also participate in comment and constructive feedback in this Workshop.

Moderator: Shelley Hansen

Post Reply
User avatar
Wendy Seddon
Posts: 446
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 5:20 pm
Location: Medowie NSW

Homework August 23 - Ooops

Post by Wendy Seddon » Sat Aug 19, 2023 10:38 am

Hello,
Struggling to find time to write. Something I lament.

Only got 3 versus out for last month....

A photograph black, white and grey
'tween folds of yellowed card
evokes a time, a place, a man
for this nostalgic bard.

Immediately I'm at the scene
where Pop sits by the fire
and in his hand a toasting fork -
a piece of twisted wire.

I'm hit then with a memory smell,
fresh bread and musty walls,
of burning wood and frying eggs
and polished lino halls.

Did a little better this time...

How are you Wen?
Well,

Stenosis in my spine and Psoriasis on my head
Bursitis in my hip becomes a numb and wonky leg
I’m overweight, My eyes are dim, I’ve not a single tooth
Uncle Arthur set up squatters rights, I’ve lost that bloom of youth.

Age spots pop up overnight, my hair is thinning out,
The word replacement gives me shakes, I’m terrified of Gout.
My patience gave up waiting and my memory sprung a leak,
The thing I lost today I hope will turn up in a week.

Thoughts are spinning in my head, the only thing that’s fast.
I need a wee break on the hour, I really hope I’ll last…………..Oops!

Cholesterol is high and yet my iron levels, low
My brain, it says, “go get ‘em girl!” my body says go slow.
So when you ask me “how are you?” These words are in my head
I’ll think a second then I say “I’m fine, and You?” instead.
Wen de Rhymewriter There is nothing mundane about the ordinary.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8057
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Homework August 23 - Ooops

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sun Aug 20, 2023 10:17 am

Good to see you back on board and having a go Wen - and with a sense of humour still intact ... always a good thing that, gets us through many a troubled time doesn't it. I enjoyed the read

As for that list of ailments I'm sure many of us will relate to them - getting old is not for sissies you have to be tough to survive as long as we have :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Terry
Posts: 3297
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: Homework August 23 - Ooops

Post by Terry » Mon Aug 21, 2023 2:37 pm

G/day glad you popped in again Wendy.

Liked both of your poems, the mention of the twisted wire toasting fork brought back memories,
having used one myself in far distant past.

It's when you realize that you have well and truly left middle age behind, you know you're on a slippery downhill slope.

Cheers Wendy

Terry

User avatar
Catherine Lee
Posts: 1309
Joined: Mon May 14, 2012 9:47 pm
Location: Thailand

Re: Homework August 23 - Ooops

Post by Catherine Lee » Tue Aug 22, 2023 6:37 pm

These are great, Wendy. I like the way you use the senses to create images in the first one, and of course the sense of humour coming through strongly in the second, as Maureen says. The last line is great because we all do this - ponder what to say, and then just give up because it's much easier to say "I'm fine, and You?" instead!! I enjoyed reading these - thanks, Wendy.

Ron
Posts: 749
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:55 pm
Location: Blue Mtns.

Re: Homework August 23 - Ooops

Post by Ron » Wed Aug 23, 2023 11:43 am

Well done Wendy, enjoyed them both.
Not surprising though that you can't find time to write, but with all those ailments you are doing pretty well! :D
Cheers
Ron

User avatar
Shelley Hansen
Posts: 2224
Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
Location: Maryborough, Queensland
Contact:

Re: Homework August 23 - Ooops

Post by Shelley Hansen » Sat Aug 26, 2023 8:37 am

Love both poems Wendy … just as Catherine said, the contrasts between the word pictures and the humour is very appealing. Glad to have you joining us and no pressure - we’re all time-poor these days and have our times when writing takes a back seat.

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

Post Reply