Homework 5 October, ARCHWAY

[Neville Briggs]

THE ARCHWAY

The roaring twenties’ loudest roar;
Meccano brontosaurus necks
stretch out towards each other
far above the deep green depths.


Will they come together neatly?
will they kiss there, head to head ?
Maybe should have made a tunnel
underneath the rock instead.

[Catherine Lee]

Ah, very clever Neville - I like this! 'Meccano brontosaurus necks' - excellent! I always admire the way in which you so succinctly 'show, don't tell' and this is another fine example of that skill!

[Terry]

I agree With Catherine Neville.
As I've mentioned before less is often better,
but it still takes time to pick the right words me thinks.

Terry

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks Catherine, you won't look at the bridge in the usual way again !! But I think that is the job of poetry, to have people see things that they looked at but maybe didn't " see" before. I remember Les Murray's poem about an emu that Les called " a beatles' haircut with a periscope"


Thanks Terry, Dead right mate, it takes time and a lot of thought to get the right word. I heard how Elizabeth Bishop used to pin her unfinished poems on the wall where she walked past sometimes for months looking at them until she found just the ight words.
Trouble is, getting old makes it harder to think of words

[Maureen K Clifford]

You are the master at this Neville - each word punches above its weight with your careful selection - and now thinking of the Coathanger as a child's Meccano set assembly of some long gone thunder lizard from the age of dinosaurs I will never see the bridge in the same light again.

Very clever write Neville ... well done you

[Shelley Hansen]

I agree Neville - and I also love that line! Why be satisfied with describing it as a common coathanger?! You have raised the bar!

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks Maureen, I don't know about master You put us onto the Haiku which is the training for making each word count. Thanks Shelley, you are too kind.