Homework 14th September - Misguided Judgement

[Catherine Lee]

My apologies that this is a bit long - I don't know where it came from in my head, but it seemed to develop into a more lengthy tale than I'd originally intended!

Misguided Judgement

They watched as rising water seemed to sweep the town away,
then later huddled helplessly, a picture of dismay.
Relentless rain had fallen many days upon the land
and businesses and homes were wrecked, submerged in silt and sand.
They stood around debating loudly what to tackle first,
and some were saying prayers whilst others simply spat and cursed.
Cacophony of noise! Confusion, fear – and then a shout
as suddenly two modest vessels calmly floated out.

They hadn’t spent much time around those men with coloured skin,
who likewise had avoided town with dogged discipline;
they hadn’t any interest in their culture or their ways—
their blind ambition solely finding opals in those days.
But now when four of these appeared from nowhere on the scene
to make their way across the flood, determined yet serene,
the white men glared suspiciously, with not a little pique,
as many of the townsfolk felt they had a bloody cheek.

“Well, what the blazes?” spat the mayor, “they need to wait for me
to state it’s safe and work out what procedure ought to be!”
The blokes agreed, and grumbled, “We should launch a swift pursuit;
that’s Ernie’s store they’re heading to – is this a plan to loot?
The grousing had intensified, some spoiling for a fight,
when one canoe just vanished round the corner out of sight;
they stared with curiosity, grew dangerously cross,
complaining they should follow and instruct them who was boss.

Abruptly then the craft emerged, and slowly made its way
towards the other cautiously, with something to convey;
then every voice fell silent as the two men passed with care
a tiny bundle wrapped in fur - and crying split the air.
An infant’s cry! The murmurs rose again in grave concern—
continued as the crowd observed the second vessel turn….
Two women brought him home as all stood stunned in disbelief,
and passed him to his mother, who was numb with shocked relief.

With downcast eyes, ashamed of bad assumptions they’d all made,
astounded at their ignorance of needing precious aid,
their words of thanks seemed trite in light of what those four had done!
The women merely smiled – a happy end to task begun.
They turned and paddled back to join their waiting men once more,
and disappeared towards the camp as silent as before,
to leave a message in their wake that no-one could gainsay,
which forged a new and lasting bond that still remains today.

Recalling now the massive storms of nineteen fifty-three,
it’s not so much the damage to their town that they all see,
as how their attitudes were changed by one heroic feat
of caring native neighbours, on that fully flooded street.
The image of that toddler, snowy skin against a chest
of flawless, shining ebony - a woman’s beating breast,
remains with them forever as a priceless lesson learned…
And me? I am that white man’s child so lovingly returned.


© Catherine Lee, 2020

[Gary Harding]

That's remarkable Catherine.

Longer poems like your Misguided Judgement are surely far more challenging to write! especially with the constraints of rhyme and correct meter to adhere to.

And I note that your rhyme is very tight throughout... but then one might expect that from your quality of work... so no surprise there ha
How on earth do you manage to keep the story-line "continuity" so accurately??

I confess I had to look up "gainsay" to get a reminder of what it meant though! pretty dumb,eh

IMO you have a produced an intriguing narrative-poem with a really happy twist in the tail/tale... and personally I like positive poems.
So..well written Catherine!

[Terry]

Very well written Catherine, a story that flows from start to finish.
If only we were always ready to admit that we were wrong.
I guess we can only hope, that given time we may one day learn to live together as equals.
You mentioned Opals; well I remember the time that most of the interconnected opal mines in Coober Pedy were flooded-
Ah but that's another story.
I really liked your poem Catherine

Terry

[Shelley Hansen]

Oh, wow, Catherine - this is spectacular! A prize-winner in every respect! The last line in particular is a real clincher (as you intended, of course!)

I can't imagine how you came up with this out of nowhere - but it just shows how valuable the prompts in this writing workshop are! (As for me - I'm really struggling with this set - but hoping for a miracle before Monday!!)

[Catherine Lee]

Thank you so much, Gary, Terry and Shelley – having lain in bed last night wondering (as one does!) if I should have shortened and tweaked this a bit, you have certainly all brought me a big smile this morning!

Wow, Gary, you have blown me away! I’m so happy to hear that you liked this poem, and am really touched by your positive feedback… Yes, gainsay is a pretty old and formal word rarely used these days, but I must confess I do enjoy using some of these when opportunities present themselves! …Anyway, you have greatly encouraged me this morning, not only with your appreciation of this particular poem, but also your extremely kind compliments about my poetry in general. Thank you so much!

Terry and Shelley, you too have given me a major boost today! I’m so glad to hear that the story flows for everyone and that you enjoyed the poem and its message…. Shelley, I have no idea where this came from – sometimes I go completely blank and at other times it’s an almost instant light bulb (which typically I often tend to question first, but then just run with and see what happens!) Thank you for saying it could be a prize-winner – perhaps it will have its day some time, who knows? I’m glad you liked the ending, too…Terry, thank you for the confirmation of the opal floods also. Being a ‘Miss Fussy Britches’ and opal mining not being in my own experience, I Googled to check if, where and when such floods might have happened, just to make sure! I’m delighted that you all liked my poem.

[Terry]

Catherine
The time that sticks in my mind was in the mid sixties,
when Old Ryan's which was in a broad gully got completely flooded.
All the mines there, and there were plenty of them, were interconnected;
so more or less the whole of that field was inundated.
Lots of other places were too, but not to the same extent.

In those days there were very few open cuts, that came later.
I still remember paddling into our old brush hut and climbing onto our beds.

Terry

[Catherine Lee]

Oh my goodness, what an experience, Terry - that sounds horrendous!

[Maureen K Clifford]

WOW! WOW! WOW! ... Your muse was in fine fettle - I dips me lid to you Catherine with this truly excellent story ... You have made excellent use of the prompt with this heartwarming story and the underlying moral as well I might add. Good for you. I like it a lot.

I was reminded (maybe your subconscious was as well) of the story and Yarri and Jacky the heroes of the big floods in Gundegai https://www.sea.museum/2017/11/24/yarri ... flood-1852

[Catherine Lee]

Thank you so much, Maureen! And thank you for this link too - wow, yes, after reading it I can see why the poem reminded you of this! That's quite spooky really - as yes, perhaps something like this was indeed in my subconscious somewhere! I'm so pleased you like my poem - thank you once again for such encouraging feedback.

[Neville Briggs]

A story with a moral Catherine One of the great guiding principles of life Never Assume !!