RAIN AND ROON
“We’ll all be rooned” wrote Hartigan
“in accents most forlorn “.
Those words came back to haunt us
on that grey and sodden dawn.
Of course, a dry land welcomes rain
but rain had come to stay,
the creeks gushed over, gutters ran
and gardens washed away.
All through the shops a river sluiced
where rivers shouldn’t go
and boats were launched to cross the street
for salvage from the flow.
We watched the water rising fast
all day and all the night.
“We’ll all be rooned, said Hanrahan”
Well! Hanrahan was right.
Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
Moderator: Shelley Hansen
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Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
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Re: Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
That's great Neville, Covered the whole picture without wasting a word.
And it stuck to the correct script as well.
I seem to have a mind that is easily distracted onto other things, that aren't even about the subject at hand.
cheers
Terry
And it stuck to the correct script as well.
I seem to have a mind that is easily distracted onto other things, that aren't even about the subject at hand.
cheers
Terry
- Catherine Lee
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Re: Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
Oh, this is great, Neville! In just four stanzas you paint the picture so clearly, and with excellent lines such as:
All through the shops a river sluiced
where rivers shouldn’t go
This is such a clear image of the flood, also evoking emotions with some dialogue at the same time - well done!
All through the shops a river sluiced
where rivers shouldn’t go
This is such a clear image of the flood, also evoking emotions with some dialogue at the same time - well done!
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Re: Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
Hear! Hear! Totally agree with the others, Neville. In addition to the lines Catherine liked, I also like the image of the "grey and sodden dawn".
What's more, you have absolutely perfect metre in this poem. That is not easy to achieve, as we all know. I seem to remember you once saying that you didn't feel you were in the league of bush poetry winners. Well, just keep doing what you've done in this poem and you will be!
What's more, you have absolutely perfect metre in this poem. That is not easy to achieve, as we all know. I seem to remember you once saying that you didn't feel you were in the league of bush poetry winners. Well, just keep doing what you've done in this poem and you will be!
Shelley Hansen
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http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
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Re: Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
Oh I love it Neville - well done you, and great to link in that old classic as well, gives a great connectivity to you poem and I totally agree with Catherine and Shelley - those lines are excellent
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Re: Homework 14/9 RAIN AND ROON.
Thanks Terry, I reckon that if your thinking wanders around in different directions that is a good thing.
Thanks Catherine, Les Murray said that prose is description but poetry is presence. I keep that saying in mind, one day I might get there.
Thanks Shelley, Thanks for the encouragement.
Thanks Maureen, I debated for some time with myself, how to reference a classic work without plagiarism.
Thanks Catherine, Les Murray said that prose is description but poetry is presence. I keep that saying in mind, one day I might get there.
Thanks Shelley, Thanks for the encouragement.
Thanks Maureen, I debated for some time with myself, how to reference a classic work without plagiarism.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.