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H'work w/e 14.10.19 - CLEANSED

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2019 11:11 am
by Maureen K Clifford
CLEANSED ... Maureen Clifford © The #ScribblyBark Poet

There's a somber hue of greyness o'er the land I view tonight
and a flying hurry scurry of small creatures taking flight
whilst the smell of burning bushland I detect both left and right,
at my feet a creek rolls muddily along.

On the hills a few miles distant there's an umber orange glow,
whilst the clouds above are likewise tinged, an eerie sign on show.
A pale crescent moon is ringed with smoke that drifts up from below
and tonight I will not hear the dingo's song.

There are men out on the fireline, faces turned towards the West
all are blackened, tired and thirsty, each has given of their best,
but the foe is not defeated and they have no time to rest
for the dragon's not defeated - he stands strong.

Here the black scrub stands, silent and grim, and dark now its visage
where mere mortal men have fought the fight to lead a countercharge
of their own to stop destruction, battle-ing flames fierce and large
as they stem the dragon's onslaught all day long.

In my pack, secure, a faded letter, remnant of my youth
and a curl of golden hair, much cherished, reminder of truth.
Such a paltry show for one man's lifetime, rough shod and uncouth
and yet valued above all else in the throng.

As I turn to start my journey from the blackened hills of home
whilst my horse picks his way daintily, in my mind I atone
humbly for the sins of childhood, for the hurts I caused alone
and I pray forgiveness from those I did wrong.

Then I see a flash of whiteness standing stark against the dark,
of an old gum tree my Mother loved. Its mottled scribbly bark
bore a tender pink and purple garland like some strange pockmark
and I felt my Mother's eyes were watching me
as I sensed her whisper 'travel well - be free.'

23.9.19

Re: H'work w/e 14.10.19 - CLEANSED

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2019 8:35 pm
by Terry
Lovely poem Maureen

It's touching, Topical and very descriptive, and you have certainly made good use of the prompts as well.
Also quick out of the blocks as usual - well done.

Terry

Re: H'work w/e 14.10.19 - CLEANSED

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 3:18 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Oh, well done, Maureen! You have pipped me at the post, because your prompts screamed "bushfire" to me as well!! I will have to continue to cogitate ...

By the way, you mention in your prompts post that you have been unsuccessful at Ipswich. I guess that indicates that the results have been communicated to the winners, as I'm sure you entered. In that case, I must be unsuccessful too, because I've heard nothing to date. I did put a "homework" poem into Ipswich - but it mustn't have caught the judge's eye this year. Ah well - that's how it goes!

However, in answer to your hope that a "homework" poem might succeed somewhere, I'm happy to report that I received a HC in the Bronze Swagman with "Lawson's Legacy", which started out its journey here in the writing workshop. As often happens, I tweaked and expanded the original a bit to bring it up to competition standard - but again, if not for your prompts, it probably wouldn't have been written.

So kudos to you again!

Cheers
Shelley

Re: H'work w/e 14.10.19 - CLEANSED

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 3:35 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
Thank you Terry and Shelley :D

Yes the IPF results are out, Glenny didn't score either. Leonie did and Heather did but of course don't know what exactly. There must have been some very, very good entries in is all I can think, and I suppose it also depends on what category is entered. I'm a tad disappointed, but that will make me try harder next year. Congratulations on your HC Shelley, that's a bonus. I've stopped entering that one - only do the IPF now and that truth to tell only because I live in Ippie.

Re: H'work w/e 14.10.19 - CLEANSED

Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:19 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Thanks Maureen and I'm sorry you didn't feature in the winners. You usually draw such a vivid picture of Ipswich, that you should be in the running for the local poet award at least!

Interestingly, the poem I entered into Ipswich was the same poem that got HC in the Bronze Swagman. It was eligible because the BS results were not out before the closing date of Ipswich. So there you go - one judge liked it and another didn't.

I guess that's how it is with the subjectivity of our craft. You can think you have a winner and it gets absolutely nowhere, while a poem you might think is far more ordinary might be awarded. It depends so much on the judge's preferences. I remember when I won the Babies of Walloon a few years ago - that poem had been completely overlooked elsewhere, and one judge had actually given me quite a severe critique, saying it didn't rhyme! So which judge was right? :o Hopefully, the judge who gave me the prize!! :lol:

I have heard that some judges cop a lot of angry responses from disgruntled non-winners after competition results are announced. (What ever happened to "the judge's decision is final"?) But from my point of view, though you can't help being a bit disappointed sometimes, it's never worth getting upset. It''s all in the eye of the beholder, and after all, we all like some poems better than others.

Onward and upward!!

Cheers
Shelley :D

Re: H'work w/e 14.10.19 - CLEANSED

Posted: Sat Oct 12, 2019 4:23 pm
by Neville Briggs
It is difficult I guess to do nostalgia or sentimental about bush fires. There's a lot of human drama there, especially for Australians. Well done Maureen.