Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

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Terry
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Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Terry » Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:15 pm

Unjust condemnation?

He’d lived a wayward life for countless years, that showed in many ways,
appearing to be under some controlling influence, these days
But was it from the grog, or something far more sinister I mused?
for ever since he’d seen the Min Min lights, his mind had seemed confused.
As though he’d had a sleeping sickness, that’s in danger of relapse,
a sickness of the mind, that caused hypnotic somnolence perhaps!

Was he to be just cast aside for life - for no one seemed to care?
And would he suffer from now on - a shorter sentence would seem fair.
A little bit of charity would be in order, don’t you think?
and not condemned by us, because we reckoned it was caused by drink.
He’d been a war time hero once, and so, there’s nothing left to prove;
his names engraved upon a statue here, and statues never move.

©T.E. Piggott

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Catherine Lee
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Catherine Lee » Thu Aug 29, 2019 5:21 pm

Oh well done,Terry! These prompts are a really tough challenge, and yet you've nailed it as ever, and so quickly too! Love the last lines x

Terry
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Terry » Fri Aug 30, 2019 9:22 am

Thanks Catherine

Sometimes as you know, a rough idea pops quickly into your mind,
of which you can with luck, fashion into an almost believable yarn.
On other occasions unfortunately the mind refuses to cooperate,
and I suspect we've all suffered that - well I know I have anyway.

Cheers

Terry

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:26 pm

:o Good on you Terry - that is a terrific use of the prompts and you are a slick chick this week - Speedy Gonzales has nothing on you :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Terry
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Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Terry » Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:34 am

Thanks Maureen

Don't ask we where that one came from!
I was looking at your prompts and though, how the hell am I going to use them and make sense.
Anyway I was thinking the hardest one (for me anyway) was going to the Hypnotic Somnolence one.
So I started messing around with that, and then it all just seemed to fall into place.
It was only after I'd finished, that I realized that I'd left out the sustenance one - damn it!

Terry

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:12 pm

Well there is no obligation to use them all Terry - :lol: - sometimes people only use one prompt and that is fine.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Shelley
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Shelley » Sat Aug 31, 2019 3:31 pm

Top job, Terry! Really well written, with an unusual rhythm.

Like Catherine said, I reckon you've absolutely nailed it with that last line in particular.

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

Terry
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Terry » Sat Aug 31, 2019 5:22 pm

Hi Maureen
Yes I know, and often do myself, but once I managed to get started with this one,
I decided to try and use the all - missed it... by that much!

Terry

Terry
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Re: Homework Sept 2019 Unjust Condemnation

Post by Terry » Sat Aug 31, 2019 5:34 pm

Hi Shelley and thanks.

Yes I know what you mean, some of the lines seem to be almost two lines in one,
or at least change direction.
I tossed up whether to use semi colons, not sure it would have much though.

I guess homework is a good opportunity to experiment.

Terry

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