Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMETHYST

All Registered Forum Users can participate in the writing exercises for the current fortnight.
Users can also participate in comment and constructive feedback in this Workshop.

Moderator: Shelley Hansen

Post Reply
User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8047
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMETHYST

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Fri Dec 07, 2018 5:49 pm

AMETHYST ... Maureen Clifford © The #ScribblyBark Poet

In the light of the gas lamps with snow softly falling
he held his young bride tight and said his goodbye
for he'd signed on the paper to take the king's shilling,
his ship sailed tonight oe'r the sea's to Shanghai.

They could hear on the breeze blowing in from the harbour
the rattling of halyards 'gainst masts made of oak.
And the sibillant hiss of the waves sucking seawards ...
a pebbled beach rejected every stroke.

The sound of hobnailed boots on cobblestoned pathways,
a bosun's pipe calling all hands in the gloom
Her face white with passion, she kissed her man soundly
and turned, walked away, back to their lonely room.

'twas Christmas and this year she danced it with no one,
and hearing the carol singers made her cry
whilst the shops were so busy, and people were thronging
the streets, she was lonely, since Owen's last goodbye.

She'd a premonition, women's intuition,
that when he set sail she would see him no more,
but thoughts were not spoken, she held his love token
and tried to be brave as he left for the war.

She opened his present, whilst sat in the firelight,
the Amethyst sparkled, its lavender tones
enhanced by the diamonds, and dainty gold chain that
she clasped round her neck, above gaunt collar bones.

His ship was the Amethyst sailing to Shanghai,
traversing the Yangtze when first she was hit.
April 49, just before the war ended
and a civil war held China in its grip

British ships were neutral, by war they weren't worried
until they were shelled and the rules of the game
were altered, the second shell wiped out the wheelhouse
their fearsome barrage, saw men hurt, killed and maimed.

***
Many decades later a comment was made by
a stranger who found her lack of sentiment
to be somewhat off-putting - he wondered what caused it
she told him the story, he seemed a nice gent.

In the light of the gas lamps with snow softly falling
he asked for her hand, asked her to be his bride
she acquiesced softly, and fondled the pendant
that hung round her neck. Owen's ghost stepped aside.

**** http://markfelton.co.uk/publishedbooks/ ... eavy-fire/
Last edited by Maureen K Clifford on Sat Dec 08, 2018 8:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMTHYST

Post by Neville Briggs » Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:02 pm

Interesting story Maureen, I had never heard of it.

Are you sure British sailors signed on for the King's " dollar " ;)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8047
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMETHYST

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Dec 08, 2018 8:59 am

Thanks Neville for picking up that glaring error :o :oops: - I have changed it to shilling which is far more appropriate. As I have always claimed 2 sets of eyes are better than one.

I hadn't heard the story either - I just lucked upon it last week when doing some research, but it is very interesting. I suppose a lot of those stories were covered up to protect morale during the war years - I confess to not even knowing that a civil war was in effect in China either - all I knew about was the Boxer rebellion and that was another story altogether I think.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Terry
Posts: 3287
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMETHYST

Post by Terry » Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:56 am

Wow you really went to work on this one Maureen a real narrative and made very good use of the prompts as well - a very enjoyable read.

I feel a bit guilty with my puny effort, it just somehow never really got out of the starting gates.


Cheers Terry

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8047
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMETHYST

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Dec 08, 2018 8:00 pm

Thank you Terry - the original story is so involved that I would have needed many verses to cover it all so cut it off, just touching on the main concept I wanted to use, so I am delighted you appeared to enjoy it. History is fascinating I find - so many hidden gems, so much inspiration.

I found a lot in your poem to like so hardly punitive IMO ... it could well turn out to be one of those poems that you come back to down the track and expand - I am finding that now with some of my older pieces. It is an interesting exercise as well, as one approaches old work with fresh eyes. I've actually come across some I don't even recall writing :lol: they were admittedly about 8 years old and my memory perhaps not quite as sharp as it once was.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

User avatar
Shelley Hansen
Posts: 2224
Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
Location: Maryborough, Queensland
Contact:

Re: Hwork w/e 25.12.18 - AMETHYST

Post by Shelley Hansen » Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:34 am

Oooh, love this line ...
And the sibillant hiss of the waves sucking seawards ...
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

Post Reply