It all begins so innocent. It’s Sunday 10am.
The Tonderator, Giant Baby, Basil, Donkey, Stem
around the table, each one with their steely focused eyes
upon the highly coveted, prestigious cherished prize.
The tournament intensifies as heat hijacks the day.
The Tonderator comes in with a dodgy sorta play.
Then Basil skips the Donkey, who in turn begins to curse,
til Giant Baby rights the wrongs and bangs down a reverse.
And Stem can’t do a poker face to hid her card sharp powers,
as Hank the Horse is outside chewing Poinciana flowers.
Stem drops a juicy Wild card with her choice of colour made,
and Donkey’s little half grin gives away her masquerade.
The Tonderator's turn to deal soon turns to a kerfuffle
(just picture little chubby fingers tryna bloody shuffle
).Then Donkey drops her cards (the bloody stoopid doughy sheila)
as Stem attempts an imitation of a Black Jack dealer.
With victory the one and only needed stimulation
The Tonderator plays a Wild without much hesitation.
It’s gone down to the wire now, but one thing that I do know -
there can be only one who wins from 3 quick calls of “Uno!”
The colour’s blue and Donkey’s set to triumph, she feels sure,
when Giant Baby slaps her with a dreaded Wild Draw Four.
All hell breaks loose with wild assault and brutal raucus battery,
and screams are heard as far away as Bedford and Cape Flattery.
There’s tears of anguish, groans and wails amongst the squeals of victory
As Hank the Horse breaks wind and wanders off in valedictory
