OOH-WAA!!

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Trisha Patterson

OOH-WAA!!

Post by Trisha Patterson » Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:31 pm

OOH-WAA!!!

Her star had burnt bright on that hot stormy night
Till she got to the golden guitars;
She entered stage left looking somewhat bereft;
And the air reeked of rum and cigars!

The crowd started cheering and whistling and leering;
And applauding her fashion faux pas!
She made a mistake… with her shirt not "opaque"...
And she wasn't wearing a bra!

Trisha Patterson
©
27/1/11
Last edited by Trisha Patterson on Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Neville Briggs
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Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Neville Briggs » Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:41 pm

Sorry to pick Trish..I think you might need to say " her shirt's not opaque " cause opaque is the opposite of see-through. :oops:
You know me, always helpful ...ummmm ;)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
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vwalla
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Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 10:44 am

Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by vwalla » Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:20 am

Trish and Neville
Maybe
Plainly apparent - Her shirt was transparent

:?:
Val W
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william williams

Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by william williams » Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:25 am

OH :oops: :oops: was it a forward subject oh dear :roll: :lol:

old bill
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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:46 am

It was perfectly clear to me Neville :lol: what Trish was showing - but no doubt your points were made. ;)
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I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
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Trisha Patterson

Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Trisha Patterson » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:32 pm

Thanks Neville,
That's what happens when you rush and dont think! Just proves... "Good poetry isn't just written...it needs to be "re-written"!
Cheers
Trish
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Trisha Patterson

Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Trisha Patterson » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:39 pm

Hi Val,Bill & Maureen,
Thanks for your replies. Have now rectified that little blooper... :oops: but you knew what I meant! ;)
Cheers
Trish
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Bob Pacey
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Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Bob Pacey » Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:30 pm

Couple of fine points in that poem Trish but i just can not seem to put my finger on them ?????
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
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Heather

Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Heather » Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:46 pm

Sometimes you just wish you hadn't started something don't you Trisha?

Heather :lol:
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Trisha Patterson

Re: OOH-WAA!!

Post by Trisha Patterson » Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:24 pm

I think you could be right Heather! It's starting to look that way. :lol:
Cheers
Trisha
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