Homework w/e 24.12.12 - 'Storm Riders'

[jakkimay]

Late again! Sorry Maureen.

‘Storm Riders’

Thunderheads assembled in the not too distant hills
growing more unpleasant – there would be some thrills and spills.
Clouds grew ever darker, as day turned towards the night;
the Storm Riders had gathered, preparing for the fight.

The afternoon grew heavy; great omens filled the skies
and the clouds turned almost purple. Who would win this prize?
The wind grew really forceful, birds sheltered in the trees -
thunderstorms were building; you could smell it on the breeze.

Then, suddenly the wind stood still, silence filled the air;
families took cover sending up an earnest prayer.
People waited silently; they’d all been here before -
the message from the heavens they just could not ignore.

Distant horses sounded, rumbling deep within the air;
Storm Riders geared and ready to consummate the dare.
The firmament, fully charged, all went still and quiet;
the skies above electric - prepared for the riot.

The battle erupted; thunder roared from up above
as the Riders of the storm moved forward hand and glove.
Pandemonium filled the heavens, shaking the skies;
horses galloped forward, there were heard some fearful cries.

Streaks of lightening hurtled forward spearing through the air
lighting up the night sky, telling all below, ‘Beware’
for the Riders of the storm, steel crashing into steel,
filled them with disquiet when they heard the horses squeal.

Thunder crashing ‘round them as they drew their deadly spears
grew louder in the heavens, as Riders roared their cheers.
The battle raged for hours shaking valleys down below;
lightning bolts lit up the skies, each arrow they let go.

Thunder grew much louder as the battle fiercely raged
and lightning strikes were plenty. Could it have all been staged?
Then cries to horses falling and groans as Riders fell;
had the battle just been won? Impossible to tell.

Suddenly, a lightning bolt impeding Riders’ run
followed by a thunderclap. The battle had been won.
The sound of distant horses now drifted from the scene;
the heavens sparkled once again shiny, new and clean.

Onward rode the Riders to a battle some place new -
a tempest more intense that might terrify a few.
Clouds dissipated quickly uncovering the sun.
Storm Riders never doubting their next fight would be won.

© Jakki May #249

[william williams]

thank's Jakki I enjoyed that
Bill the old battler

[Maureen K Clifford]

me too - action from go to whoa -with some great phrases in there as well

Streaks of lightning hurtled forward spearing through the air

beautifully descriptive that one - as one reads the feeling of urgency and battle really shines through in this poem.

A couple of typo's in there that are easy to fix up but overall nothing major - perhaps I would look for another word to describe the lightning as you have it in five consecutive verses but that is probably more my hangup but I think perhaps it would make the poiem even stronger were you to consider that. Just a thought.

But like Bill I enjoyed the read

Cheers

Maureen