Homework 15/8 Bitter Sweet Memories Of Yarraman

[Terry]

A bit short and sweet, and I fudged, only used 4 prompts - Terry

BITTER SWEET MEMORIES OF YARRAMAN

The years have passed by slowly but the memories remain,
of walking through the leafy streets of Yarraman again.
And even after all these years, he still feels deep regret,
at losing his sweet Nellie, and that feeling is there yet.

Again he sees her beauty with her short cropped golden hair,
while dressed in simple clothes and amber beads she liked to wear.
He now recalls just how he felt when love had passed him by;
when Nell had chose another, there was hurt he can’t deny.

He stirs his campfires ashes and relives again that day,
and thinks about what might have been if things had gone his way.
He may have had a family to cherish in old age,
instead he’s just a lonely man, whose worth is hard to gauge.

******

[mummsie]

Good one Terry, it's great how these prompts send us down such different avenues.
Sue

[Bob Pacey]

Never ceases to amaze how we all have a different perspective on the topic.

The face that we have prompts helps in the exercise so keep them coming Maureen.


Cheers Bob

[Maureen K Clifford]

Beautiful Terry - and you don't have to use all the prompts Mate unless you want to - they are only there to spark something. Having a go is what it is about and I am so happy you did...thank you.

I will keep them coming Bob as long as people get something out of doing it and it can be a source of finding out and imparting a little more about our history through the poems as well as most of us seem to Google at some stage for information.

Cheers

Maureen

[Terry]

Thanks Folks,

Yes it's interesting how we all go off in different directions on the subject isn't it?

I have always thought that doing homework even if it's just the odd one helps you to think outside your usual comfort zone. it makes you think of ideas that you normally may not have, and are great if you are going through a period of mental block (some people do you know Maureen).

Another benefit (well it has been for me) is that sometimes it triggers an old memory or idea that you can then turn into a reasonable poem later.

Cheers Terry

[vwalla]

Terry
Paints a poignant picture.

Maybe "Who's" should be "whose" if I am correct.( Last Line)

Val W

[Wendy Seddon]

Hi Terry....
I thought 'when Nell had chose another,'
maybe...when sweet Nell chose another. ?

I like this a lot - I like age and gauge - nothing alike to
look at but - hey presto!

Wen

[Terry]

Thanks Val,
You're right, I seem to be going mad with apostrophe's of late.
Gives you a fair idea of the standard of my English.

Cheers, I'll go and fix that now. - Terry

[Terry]

Hi and thanks Wen,
I had another look at your suggestion, but it would change the the first word from unstressed to stressed.
I remember thinking along the same lines you as you when I was writing it. but even so with a little bit of effort that line could be changed to include (Sweet Nell) which is better, I was also conscious of not repeating the same wording used earlier in the poem. I'll have a look at it though and see what I can come up with, thanks for the suggestion, I always enjoy getting feedback.

Cheers Terry

[Neville Briggs]

I thought that was a good one Terry.

I'll be picky, the past tense of choose is chosen ( if you use the word had ), so it would be better if you could think of another one syllable word that means the same. Maybe get rid of had. But.....I think "poetic licence' allows us to stretch and squeeze the words, so maybe, just maybe, you can get away with had chose if you really want to .

See .....writing poetry is not easy, as some try to believe.