homework 12/09/11 Chains

[Wendy Seddon]

By hook or by crook, I'm the first this time, look!

Chains
What is it that we leave behind and what, pray lies ahead?
When there are no more words to say or roads for us to tread.
Then will our souls, as scriptures say, find solace in the light,
eternally to banish all the traces of the night?

Does all emotion felt ‘til then just dissipate and cease?
No memory of lives we’ve touched to interrupt our peace.
Or is it when we’ve breathed our last and Heaven calls us home,
that some part of our fam’ly's pain goes with us as we roam.

Our human mind finds comfort, consolation in the thought,
our loved ones guide us, even so, throughout our lives so fraught
with relatively tedious and mundane earthly woe
and thus defer divine rewards, all holy gains fore-go.

Nay I’d not chain them to this task or their protection seek,
to burden them with this life whether bright with hope or bleak.
Instead be free to reap the promise of the cross fulfilled,
I’ll shelter safe in Jesus’ name, and on His rock I’ll build.

Wen

[Maureen K Clifford]

WOW - Wendy this is so very good and great to have you first across the line this week. Really liked this poem - it comes from the heart and it shows

Cheers

Maureen

[Wendy Seddon]

Thank you Maureen,
Purely coincidence that I finished this poem this morning
for a friend who just lost her 95yo mum.

It fitted the brief and anyway, I wanted to share it.

[Heather]

I'll second that Wendy. Very deep, very good. Well written.

Heather

[Neville Briggs]

Excellent work Wendy.

Since this is a workshop, I'll be a pain and make a comment. Just my opinion,

I think the use of archaisms is best avoided if possible ...e.g." what pray ", " Nay " . Gives me the impression of people in black hats and starched collars

And I'm probably a heretic in that I think that in modern verse we can write " family " and assume that it can be read as " fam'ly " without putting in the apostrophe. Every day usage pronounces it as two syllables.

In line 1 of second stanza I think, till will do the job without 'til

[Wendy Seddon]

You are never a pain Nev, "Arthur" is a pain.

I'm here to learn. Ta