My Dearest Bess. Revisited.

[Dave Smith]

My Dearest Bess.
Dave Smith. ©
Nov 2010.


The bugle sounds, the day is spent,
I toss and turn in blankets lent.
Sporadic fire from up the line,
tuck in; dig deep; my boys are fine.

I’ve had some mail from Bess today.
She wrote of how our children play,
“They’re helping Granddad in his shed.
It seems they’re always late for bed.”

“They love it here on Granddad’s farm.
We’re safe out here away from harm.
They picked some berries for our tea,
their faces stained and filled with glee.”

“My Dearest Bess, I feel you near,
I miss you so. It’s awful here –
the mud, the stench, the endless mire,
the ceaseless sound of cannon fire.”

The bugle sounds, the day is spent,
I toss and turn in blankets lent.
Increasing fire from up the line,
I’ll try and sleep, my boys are fine.

A SHOUT! It’s time- Go, Go, Go, Go.
The noise, the dark; keep down keep low
That whistling sound, it fills my head….
……………………………………….

* * * * * *

Major T Davis. 3rd Div ARA. (Tom)

My Dear Elizabeth, It is with regret….

* * * * * *

[Maureen K Clifford]

That made the hairs on my arm stand up when I read that last line Dave - very effective ...well done. Good writing IMO

Cheers

Maureen

[Heather]

It's good Dave.

Heather

[r.magnay]

Yeah, me too Maureen! great stuff Dave.

[Bob Pacey]

A pearler Dave.

Keep this up and you will be knocking at the written champs door >>


See ya soon Bob

[Leonie]

Oh yeah, great stuff, and I hope to see you soon too.

[Dave Smith]

Thanks Mates

I know the last two lines are prose not verse and therefore would not be acceptable in a written comp I needed to do it like this way to achieve the impact I wanted.

Dave.

[Leonie]

I think the last two lines are perfect just the way they are. I doubt they would put this poem out of a competition, in my opinion they are what makes the poem so powerful.

[Heather]

Yep. I agree Dave. It is the clincher. Those two lines tell a whole lot without having to say very much at all. You let the reader figure out what has happened. Good writing.

Heather

[Dave Smith]

Again thanks

Dave.