We Will Remember

[mrrass]

Hi everyone
I'm posting a poem I wrote for my class a couple of weeks ago to help them understand the meaning of Remembrance Day. The class sold poppies for the RSL and got a great sense of community spirit.

We Will Remember

In August Nineteen Fourteen, our nation went to war,
Called to arms to fight upon a distant foreign shore.
We couldn’t let Great Britain down, our Mother Country true,
So off we went, a nation bold, a nation oh so new.

The brave young ANZACs marched with pride; feeling ten feet tall,
Off to war they hurried now, convinced they would not fall.
A sense of duty swept the land, enlistments came on fast,
The sun-tanned Aussie diggers were an army unsurpassed.

At Anzac Cove they fought the Turks in heat and bitter cold,
They lived and slept in trenches that were shocking to behold.
In France and Flanders thick with mud that drained a man of will,
These brave young men gave up their lives and many lie there still.

For four long years the conflict raged – a war to end all wars,
Our diggers sacrificed so much, upon those foreign shores.
The truth of war was realised now, no glory to be had,
Just constant fear and terror, enough to drive you mad.

At last in Nineteen Eighteen, the war came to its close,
November the eleventh was the date the leaders chose.
At the eleventh hour of this day peace at last did come,
Just in time for many men, but way too late for some.

So many men who lost their lives; who never came back home,
Are buried now in Flanders Fields where poppies still are grown.
The poppy is the symbol now of those who fell in war
Of those who won’t return to home for now or evermore.

So on this day we pause to think of those who died in war,
The fathers, sons and brothers; who we will see no more.
Long after wars are over, whether lost or whether won,
Their spirits soldier ever on; shining like the sun.

By Mr Rass

[Heather]

Great to see you posting Tony. Your poem is a good explanation for the kids on the significance of the poppy. What did they think of Remembrance Day? What age are the kids you teach?

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

Cheers Tony I liked the read, a poem I'm sure that would have helped the kids understand the purpose of the day.


There are a couple of things I would like to suggest you look at.

The use of Home and Grown as rhyme might get by in performance but seems to stand out in the written form.

Also War and Evermore followed by War and More to me seems a little bit close together. I'm still learning on the metre front so perhaps one of our more experienced poets might run their eye over that part.


Oh Tony I would suggest that you always put the little copy sign ( C ) at the bottom this protects your work.


As I said before suggestions to loose or use as you want ,
Or as Marty does, just tell me to Sod Off.

still a great read.

Cheers Bob

[Maureen K Clifford]

that's not too shabby Tony - rolls along nicely. You just might be the teacher who instils a love of poetry in someone's heart for evermore - and they will always remember it was you who did it - good write IMO taking into account the little glitches that Bob pointed out, but these are things that come with experience and even then there is no guarantee

Cheers

Maureen

[mrrass]

Thanks for the replies everyone. The reason I joined the forum is to learn some tips about writing poetry. It's definitely something I would like to get better at!

Tony

[mummsie]

I enjoyed the read Tony. It held the story right to the end, always important to me when I read poetry. Like Maureen said, you may well be the teacher who instills the love of poetry into some childs mind, something I think is lacking in our schools today. Well done, can't wait to read more of your work. Keep'em coming.

Cheers
Sue