A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

All registered Forum users can post bush poetry dedicated to all those who served
Heather

A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Heather » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:38 pm

This poem was inspired by the loss of Lance Corporal Jared MacKinney in Afghanistan. His son was born on the day he was buried.


Lest We Forget.
Last edited by Heather on Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8047
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:44 pm

Reading that made the hair on my arm and neck stand on end - it is good Heather

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

User avatar
Bellobazza
Posts: 173
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:48 pm

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Bellobazza » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:51 pm

Hi Heather...
Thanks for writing this. I couldn't trust myself to attempt it. The female viewpoint is much more appropriate I think, and you have handled the task beautifully.

Cheers, Will.
"Each poet that I know (he said)
has something funny in his head..." CJD

Heather

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Heather » Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:54 pm

Thanks Maureen. It is such a sad story and I was very moved by it. I recited it to someone else today and it gave them goosebumps.

I came up with the first two stanzas at the time and wanted to write a longer poem but couldn't keep the odd metre in the second and fourth line going. I don't know why I do these things to myself! maybe one day I will be able to add to it. Eventually I gave up and wrote something else from it which I am really happy with (two hanky poem).

I also didn't want to write anything that might offend the family if they ever saw it. I don't know their point of view and would never want to presume.

Thanks Will, I have found that when I can get my head and heart into the "space" I write my best stuff. My output has decreased but I hope I am improving.

Heather :)
Last edited by Heather on Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

David J Delaney

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by David J Delaney » Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:36 pm

This is beautiful writing Heather, wouldn't it be good if the young'n in question could read this when he is about 18.

Heather

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Heather » Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:50 pm

Thanks Dave. It would be good if he could read it one day. It's probably a bit raw for the family/friends at the moment though. I've written another on the same topic. I'll PM it to you.

Heather :)

User avatar
Zondrae
Moderator
Posts: 2292
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:04 am
Location: Illawarra

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Zondrae » Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:18 pm

G'day Heather,

I have been a bit pre-occupied of late and have only just read this one. Very nicely written. Not only the sentiment but also the tempo are most appropriate to the event. Have you thought of sending it to the family? Or perhaps have a poke around facebook and see if any family member (brother etc) is on there. You would be able to post it that way as their home address would not be public. ((I think). I had tears by the end. You're getting better and better. Don't forget to get an nentry in for the Blackened Billy closing soon.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

Heather

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Heather » Sat Nov 20, 2010 2:58 pm

Thanks Zondrae,

Maybe when the time is right the family might like to see it. Dave might know someone who might know someone that will know.

I really like the tempo of this one too. I think I would still like to add another stanza between 2 and 3.

Heather :)
Last edited by Heather on Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Trisha Patterson

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by Trisha Patterson » Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:32 pm

Lovely Heather!

Trisha

william williams

Re: A Soldier's Son Was Born Today

Post by william williams » Sun Nov 21, 2010 2:33 pm

Thank Heather it was a great read so sad but true

Bill the old Battler

Post Reply