Bibaringa Station

[mummsie]

When I was a kid I spent the first seven years of my life on Bibaringa Station, a big merino spread between Wallenbeen and Young, where my Dad was a station hand for 10 years, those were the days, no tv or electronic games, just a radio that Mum and Dad would listen to their favorite serial on, I was fifth in line of 8 kids, so times were tough, a station hands wage was pretty meagre, but somehow we managed to scrape by.
Bibaringa Station

My thoughts they often wander back to days when I was small,
on Bibaringa Station, special moments I recall.
My very earliest memories, of lambs and cats and dogs,
riding bikes, the big verandah, climbing trees and catching frogs.

Building cubbies from the cowpats, and tunnels in the grass,
making mudpies, chasing geese off nests,now that was such a laugh.
Our visits to the shearing shed, what fun we had up there,
jumping off the loading ramp, to see who'd win the dare.

The memories of christmas, toys hidden in the shed,
that we would 'accidentally' find, but not a word was said.
We loved to lay beneath the trees, eat nectarines, peaches, plums,
and pick half green tomatoes, if Dad knew he'd kick our bums.

And come the swooping season,the magpies would come out,
'click, click 'we'd hear above us, 'look out' you'd hear us shout.
On sundays we'd go woodcarting, the Buick cranked and choked,
us kids would climb into the back and laugh and sing and joke.

At nightime we would sit around a great big open fire,
and Mum would cook a rabbit stew, of which we'd sometimes tire.
You see life was very simple, not much money was on hand,
but of Bibaringa Station, the memories are grand.

[Bob Pacey]

Looks like you have the same problem with that bloody I button as me Sue.

We all strive to grow up so quickly and then spend the rest of our lives thinking " Gees those were the good old days ".


Well done


Bob

[Neville Briggs]

G'day Sue, I like this poem it's a very good image of your memories.

So I hope you don't mind if I suggest a couple of things to think about.

Do you need to say " special moments I recall" or " my earliest memories " when the first line already says that.
In the second last line " not much money was on hand " I found a bit bumpy, not quite the same flow of speech as the rest of the poem.
Do you need to say " the memories were grand " isn't that the point of the whole poem, perhaps the reader/listener should be left to work that out for themselves ?

Only my thoughts, not prescriptions.


I think the rest is very good. A great poem with lots of action that paints the picture vividly.
I think it is worth considering for one of the bush poetry comps.

[mummsie]

Thanks Neville, This is the poem that I recently took first prize with in a local bush poetry competition,glad you enjoyed it.I still question a lot of what I write, I guess that is a confidence thing, which is why I post my work on this site, it's good to get other peoples opinions, and in the short time I'v been on here I'v learnt heaps, thanks again for your input.

[Neville Briggs]

Well ! I was right about one thing, suitable for comp.