A bite on the Arse

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Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:57 pm
Location: Tasmania

A bite on the Arse

Post by ALANM » Sat Nov 30, 2019 3:29 pm

A Bite on the Arse
(By Alan McCosker 1983 revised 2019)

An expression by some, ‘bout what might return, to bite on your arse like a black snake
brought to my mind a place and a time, when somethin’ similar happened to my mate
on a station outback, down by wollondilly, in the region that’s known as mulwaree
my mate was the victim of a bite on the arse, that gave him an unpleasant memory

It’s impossibly hard, to turn right around and take a big bite on your own arse
but there is a way that it can be done, if the right circumstance comes to pass
on any day when we worked in the yards, brandin’ or drenchin’ the cattle
someone would say ”let’s buck a few out ” we’d draft and get ready for battle

We’d pick out a few brawny young steers, or maybe some big lumpy heifers
we were not allowed to ride out a bull, ‘cause with our lack of skill he might kill us
you’d climb in the crush and pull tight on the rope and then nod your head to be let out
a few jumps out the gate, you’d finish prostrate, in the dust with your face in a cow pat

It was lots of fun, we’d all give it a run, except for my mate from taralga
he was great on a horse but could not be talked, into throwin’ a bowed leg over
he’d help us tie down and swing on the gate, laughin’ out loud when we got thrown
but he wouldn’t step up, he’d not take a crack, no way could we get him to rope down

One day in the yards after brandin’ was done, we drafted a few steers to ride
then to our surprise old mate volunteered, he reckoned to take on the first ride
I guess that the crap we heaped on his head, made him feel he could no longer back off
and he bragged that he would, show us all how, to ride right to time and not buck off

As he climbed in the crush to get set for the ride, he became quite shaky and nervous
his bravado had gone but he couldn’t back out, he’d bragged on and now had to show us
he gave a quick nod and we opened the gate, the steer took a mighty leap forward
two jumps from the gate old mate lost his grip and way up in the air somersaulted

He came down from high and landed real hard, on the cheeks of his arse in a cow pat
as he leaped to his feet we plainly could see, there was blood showin’ on his hip pocket
he cursed and he swore, as he delved in his pocket and pulled out his broken top denture
he’d put them in there, a’fore climbin’ in crush, thinking they’d be safe and secure

He’d landed so hard, his dentures had pierced, through the denim there in his hip pocket
and so it come to pass, that he bit his own arse, with his very own teeth, quite an effort
on that station outback they still talk about, that time away back when it happened
how a young station-hand, was bit by his own teeth, a tale that out there became legend

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Re: A bite on the Arse

Post by Shelley » Thu Dec 19, 2019 3:55 pm

Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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