WHIPPET WILSON'S WAGER

[Cropduster]

WHIPPET WILSON'S WAGER

Whippet Wilson came from Wagga
aimed to join our footy club.
As skinny as a garden rake,
could have used a feed of grub

The scuttlebutt was he was quick
as quick as a quick fix
he looked just like a piece of string
held up by skinny sticks

'Just how fast are ya?' came the cry
from captain 'Charger' Hall,
built much more closely to the ground -
as wide as he was tall.

'I reckon I could take you
with an eighty yard head start
and I'd do it in a canter.
Take me on, if you've the heart.'

Now Charger wasn't one to shy
away from a good bet
But he was thinkin' this was 'bout
as good as it would get.

'So, what's the catch, me skinny mate?
I may not be that fast,
but there's no way you'd catch me
over twenty yards of grass.'

'All I ask, before you run
you drink a glass of water
Five ounces should be plenty,
before you'd finished, I'd have caught ya.'

'A tiny cup of water?
I could down that in one go.
I think you've lost ya marbles, mate,
but let's give the lads a show'

The Thumper offered up his hand
the two men sealed the bet,
and off they marched to Tigers Park
and so the stage was set.

Charger sent his two IC
his second in command
the half back, Shorty Simpkins,
to the sheds beneath the stand.

'Go get a glass of water
making sure it's from the tap
Not sure if I should trust
this little Wagga Wagga chap.'

Well little did he know that
Shorty was in on the gag.
Shorty handed him the water
when the starter dropped the flag.

Oh, the water, it was pure, all right
But this, my friend, the plot
The water came from out the tap
that clearly was marked 'HOT'

So Whippet started jogging
down the field, where Charger stood
slowly sipping boiling water -
the boys had really got him good.

Then the Whippet danced around him
before he crossed the finish line
where he grabbed the winner's purse,
and said 'I do believe that's mine'

'I guess it's my shout at the pub,
if now I am a Tige'
Charger said 'You slipp'ry bugger,
you are welcome on our side.'

Copyright (c) Allan Cropper April 2016