The TAB With No Loo

[Bob Pacey]

A true story told in verse by my Auntie Pat. Uncle Fred was the victim.

They lived just over the road from the pub and TAB but even that was just too far.

The TAB With No Loo

A friend gave me a racing tip
that was sure to beat them all
I was just about to place me bet
when I gets an urgent call.

Where's the loo, I asked a fella
who answered with a smile
the one that's here is just for staff
so you'll have to run the mile.

I dashed out through the blinkin door
round the corner up the road
I wasn't game to take a pause
in case I dropped me load.

Straight through the public bar I went
standing on the drinkers toes
I made a bee-line for their loo
but I was beaten by a nose.

I pranced around but could not wait
so then took off once more.
I didn't stop till I got home
and raced through me front door.

But standing there inside the door
I found to me disgrace
That even though I'd run so fast
I'd lost the bloody race.

Now the pub that has no beer mate
it's a tragedy it's true
but it ain't near as aggravating
as a TAB without a loo.

So all you punters take my tip
and this is just not talk
when you go there to place your bets
make sure you take a cork.

Pat Little (C)

[Maureen K Clifford]

Aunty Pat passed her poetic gene across is seems Bob

[alongtimegone]

Great rhyming yarn Bob. Your aunty must have had a wicked sense of humour.
Wazza

[Bob Pacey]

Yes she did Warren a wonderful lady who ignited my love of bush poetry.
Bob

[Catherine Lee]

Very enjoyable Bob! I can see exactly how Aunty Pat ignited your love of poetry!

[Shelley Hansen]

Excellent yarn, Bob! The old call of Nature is one call you just can't ignore!

Cheers, Shelley