Pauly and the Smog Dog

[Heather]

Really enjoyed the tale Marty. They sound like a couple of likeable larrikins. Well done.

Heather

[Dave Smith]

That’s a good poem Marty and them’s my kinda blokes. Two cool

TTFN

[Maureen K Clifford]

Love it - and can relate to the End Loader and Acco

should this be past ?? its best years were long passed

[Bob Pacey]

Spent a lot of time in my younger days around the west and you would only have to spend a night at the Welcome Home Hotel in Longreach to see this type of bloke and hear many many yarns. I was expecting a story about a punch up Marty but I reckon that's another story hey.

Cheers Bob

[Zondrae]

G'day,

Come on, pull the other one...
Aussie blokes who dance! that's an oxymoron isn't it?

But then again if we were talking about days gone by I would believe it.
Nice little poem in the camp fire style, good story, well told. Thank you for sharing it.

[Neville Briggs]

I'll be the and make a couple of ( I hope constructive ) observations.

Zondrae mentioned oxymoron. Unfortunately waxing away laconic is certainly an oxymoron.
Waxing mean to increase or expand whereas laconic means to be very brief and short.

I think we all should be very careful of rearranged syntax.
" up your crop will snap " seems to suggest getting something stuck in your throat.
" born and bred was he " is that a question ?
" proud of where he's from" is slightly awkward in that line the objects and subjects seem to get a bit lost.
There are others which the listener could easily miss-hear.

Robert Frost, I think it was, said that poety should be written at least as well as prose.
If you check with the bush poet mentor's like Glenny Palmer Noel Stallard and
Ellis Campbell, I am certain they will all tell you to avoid wrenching the syntax for the sake of rhyme.

Having said that.. Since it is just a bit of fun as you said, perhaps it doesn't matter if it's a bit unpolished.
Sounds like a good one for round the campfire in September.

I hope to get there and a few of our local bush poets have shown interest. You can pay me back by sending me up to the shed to find the left-handed screwdriver.

[Dave Smith]

Come on, pull the other one...
Aussie blokes who dance! that's an oxymoron isn't it?

Elaine and I dance every Tuesday night and often on Saturday, Ballroom Old time and New Vogue
and much fun is had.

TTFN

[Zondrae]

Nice to hear,

I must move in the wrong circles then. None of the men I know dance, except for my son. Correct that, none of the Australian born men dance. I think some of them are afraid of tripping over their knuckles. Mind you, I don't get out much.

[Neville Briggs]

I think some of them are afraid of tripping over their knuckles

Oi ...behave Zondrae, there are some suave sophisticated renaissance Oz blokes out there. I can think of one.... real easy

[Bellobazza]

Ah, the mem'ries....
Mayfair Quickstep, Pride of Erin, Swing Waltz, Barclay Blues, Tangoette, Progressive Barndance, rhumba, cha cha cha, jive...

(aussie born, too)

Will.