The TAB With No Loo

[Bob Pacey]

Found this in my Aunties Folder.
A true story staring my uncle Tom, or so my niece tells me.

The TAB With No Loo

A friend gave me a racing tip
that was sure to beat them all
I was just about to place me bet
when I gets an urgent call.

Where's the loo, I asked a fella
who answered with a smile
the one that's here is just for staff
so you'll have to run the mile.

I dashed out through the blinkin door
round the cornor up the road
I wasn't game to take a pause
in case I dropped me load.

Straight through the public bar I went
standing on the drinkers toes
I made a bee-line for their loo
but I was beaten by a nose.

I pranced around but could not wait
so then took off once more.
I didn't stop till I got home
and raced through me front door.

But standing there inside the door
I found to me disgrace
That even though I'd run so fast
I'd lost the bloody race.

Now the pub that has no beer mate
it's a tragedy it's true
but it ain't near as aggravating
as a TAB without a loo.

So all you punters take my tip
and this is just not talk
when you go there to place your bets
make sure you take a cork.

Pat Little

[Bellobazza]

That's a corker bob.
What's the odds, eh?

Cheers, Will.

[Heather]

Beginning to see where your sense of humour comes from Bob. Clever aunty!

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

Thank you both. Yes she was a wonderful lady and I miss being able to pop in and bounce new poems off her. This is the only funny one in a batch of about twenty and you will note the use of blinkin instead of bloody cause she would never swear. I do now have a picture of my great, great grandfather Robert Pacey and his wife Flora. Oh hows this I'm Robert Alan my dad was Robert William, his dad was Robert Phillip, his father Robert lachlan and his just Robert. Now you would think that unusual but his father was Patrick transported from Ireland for perjury ( Court extract ) " A simple but honest man , a victim of circumstance.

Good to know your roots

cheers Bob

[Bellobazza]

Yeah, yeah, Bob...

A simple but an honest man,
an innocent victim of circumstance.
Accidental that he had his hand
in the pocket of someone else's pants.



Cheers, Will.

[Bob Pacey]

Trouble was he was not very good at it Will. Hey The View From Room 7 is very popular. Just got to pick the audience cause if they are to old I think it scares them.


Thanks again Bob

[Bellobazza]

Yeah, Bob...
It scares me a bit too!!

Cheers.