THE GIFT

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DinkyDi

THE GIFT

Post by DinkyDi » Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:07 pm

It’s in a lilting falling feather;
It’s in a waving maiden’s hair;
It puts rain and chill together;
It drifts snowflakes through the air.
It’s a rippled calming ocean;
It’s the driven thunder storm;
It’s tumbleweeds slow motion;
And the way tornadoes form.
It’s a brisk caress of skin;
It’s a plume of smoke in-flight;
It’s the curtains billowed in;
It’s the murmurs in the night.
It’s the dancing grass in time;
It’s the swell beneath each bird;
It’s the sound to aid a mime;
And it’s carriage for a word.
It’s a wafting scent of flowers;
It’s the shimmer to a flame;
It’s one of several powers;
And the error in your aim;
It’s the ruffled flap of flags;
It’s the thrust to fill a sail;
It’s a tarp that lifts and sags;
It’s a silent force to gale;
It’s a soaring eagle’s glide;
It’s a hazy wisp of glare;
It’s a kite prepared to ride
Through the gift of wind held bare.
29/08/2011

© Copyright 2011 Adam Parker
Last edited by DinkyDi on Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Bob Pacey
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Re: THE GIFT

Post by Bob Pacey » Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:24 pm

Loved it Adam just rolls off the tongue.

Now this is one that would lend itself to a set out form as a wave or billowing clouds.

I'm sure Maureen could give us an example if she has the time ???

My orderly mind still put it into verses but it reads ok as is.

Cheers Mate.


Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

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Bob Pacey
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Re: THE GIFT

Post by Bob Pacey » Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:36 pm

Marty when I did a profile many years ago I came back as a High C personality.

This means that I like everything in its place in an orderally fashion.

I will enthusiastically attack any project that I am set but will also be prepared to bend the rules to get the results that I want.

Oh I also have to be in charge or I just won't play.

I also like to talk a lot. but Heather could have told you that.

Just can not believe that she agreed with me !!!!!!


Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

Heather

Re: THE GIFT

Post by Heather » Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:04 pm

Brilliant Adam. Love it!

Just catches for me on It’s the grass dancing in time;

Might it work with - It's the dancing grass in time? Just a thought.

Heather :D

DinkyDi

Re: THE GIFT

Post by DinkyDi » Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:52 pm

Thanks all,

Yeah Heather something about that line pestered me too, and yep I think your suggestion works well. Thanks

The simplistic structure works well for this piece I reckon as the subject is evident quite early on.

Thanks again everyone.

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Re: THE GIFT

Post by mummsie » Mon Aug 29, 2011 7:33 pm

Well written Adam, an interesting read.


Sue
the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.

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Re: THE GIFT

Post by Neville Briggs » Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:02 pm

Just to be my usual pesky self, I see it as simple but not simplistic.

Good one Adam. I think it's really difficult to write like this because the danger of monotony is ever lurking, but I think you have succeeded in doing the job OK, you've varied it in a couple of places to make some breaks in the same sounds of sense repeated. good idea.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: THE GIFT

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:46 pm

works well for me I really like it Adam

Cheers

Maureen
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Re: THE GIFT

Post by DinkyDi » Tue Aug 30, 2011 4:24 pm

Thanks again,

Maureen, that's adds another air to it again? Looks cool.

And Nev, yeah I felt the lines beginning with "and" instead of "it's" helped to round the stanzas out if you like even though I didn't separate the stanzas.

And thanks for taking the time to read Sue.

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Re: THE GIFT

Post by Bob Pacey » Tue Aug 30, 2011 4:46 pm

Now Maureen I know you can do better than that. I was thinking of some rolling clouds like the ones that come in accross the Nullabour.


Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

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