'Flouncing' - Glenny and Hully

[Hully]

Was looking for something completely different and found this old gem today - must have been from a few years ago and not sure which version of which site it was on - but it was fun.....Glenny, hope you don't mund me reproducing your poem here...and my apologies for those who have seen this before...

The Principal Rule of Flouncing - Glenny Palmer

The principal rule of the flounce
is to stick your nose in the air,
then the head turns right, as the shoulder lifts
for the chin to linger there.

Take your left hand & grasp at your skirt,
as you start the turn on your heel,
render measured bounce to befit good flounce,
and then 'hmpff', but never squeal.

It's critical all of your bits,
that wobble, like bottoms & ....kind,
are synchronised in a quivered rise,
to distract the victim's mind.

But the ultimate tool of good flounce
to succeed, it has to be this,
with a flick of hair & a backwards stare,
you blow the swine a kiss.
(Glenny Palmer)


The Flounce - hully

It all seemed alright in the hotel that night
When the room went suddenly quiet
And all turned to stare at the newlywed pair
Engaged in a their own private riot
It was something to do with who thought that who
Could consult a celebrity diet
And at the end of the shout, the sheila flounced out
With great style…and none could deny it.

Then Smithy piped up as he lifted his cup
“for that nose lift, I’ll give her an eight!”
“and the chin on the shoulder could not have been colder”
Said Dave “the timing was great”
But the hand grasping skirt, caused the boys to revert
To their drinks and a healthy debate
Their ranks were divided, until they decided
That she’d done it too badly to rate

But the turn on the heel, they agreed, was unreal
And Jim Jeffries gave her a ‘Nine”
He said “I’ve seen flounces, but such measured bounces
And ‘hmmmphhs’ are purely divine”
Old Pete was still giggling, recalling the wiggling
Bits, all regarded as “fine”
But the last quivered rise, caused some to surmise
It was more by good luck than design

But all of those drinkers and well noted thinkers
Could not at all fault the last action
And all had agreed that the grace and the speed
Of the move caused a mild distraction
The flick of the hair with that last backward stare
And the kiss was a major attraction
So, for flouncing at men, they scored her a ten
- Which at least gave her some satisfaction

h

[Glenny Palmer]

Hulleeey! You scallywag. Where in the name of Heaven did you actually find that?

as she flounces out....

Cheeers
Glenny

[Hully]

He he.....had a heap of old web poems saved for some reason....!!! Bovine Que made me smile !!

h

[Glenny Palmer]

Old Timers is setting in Hully. I can hardly recall having written it! There's just bits of my vernacular that lead me to think I musta of.??

What website was it from? Ta anyway as I'm trying to index my 'gems'. Hey....you haven't got any of me 'n croc's shenannigans to each other have you?

BTW loved your 'reply' pome. Bouncy like an accredited flounce.

Wot's 'Bovine Que'...?

Cheeers
Glenny

[Zondrae]

G'day Glenny,

Til someone who knows more than I pipes up.... 'Que' is a type of Cow disease which can be passed on to humans. I know this from hearing country radio.

[Hully]

Sorry for the late reply Glenny - crazy times here in Hullyland.
...not sure which site it was - probably Rics???....just found an old folder - it was when there was a strong 'Battleground' thing running - great fun....don't have anything saved that wasn't related to me in some way but do remember there were some loverly turns of phrase at that time...
Bovine Que was my silly play on words....but do you remember this bit of doggerel??...

T’was on a charming country farm
The sign said, ‘cow for sale’
So with my wallet underarm
And without warning or alarm
I stepped inside the rail
- I thought perhaps I’d see the cow for sale inside the rail

I ventured to the tender vendor,
A most soppy Sheila
She said the cow was full of splendor
And there were others of the gender
Owned by the same dealer
- There were, in fact, three cows tended by the dealer Sheila

‘Could I spy them?’ I enquired
-she bought them out in line
The cow for sale was old and tired
But on her udder, she’d acquired
Another young bovine
-And so it seemed together they had formed a bovine line

But, looking past the second cow
Another was attached !
There were a trail of bovines now
All fastened underneath somehow
And all were colour matched!
-It was a fine bovine line and all were colour matched!

T’was really quite a mighty sight,
Three bovines, all well fed
All colour matched and all polite
And then I spied with sheer delight
Another quadruped !!
-A dog was on the final cow and he too was well fed

I swear to you this tale is true
I wouldn’t tell a lie
A colour coded bovine cue
With cross bred dingo blue dog too
And mobile food supply
I told the dealer Sheila this was just too much to buy
- This tale is true, I’m telling you, I would not tell a lie.


h

[william williams]

Zondrae I believe the common name for QUE is called MAD COWS DISEASE

now Zondrae I hope you are not calling Glenny a stupid mad cow by any chance

bill the old battler