A Poem For The Moment

[keats]

I love to write an Aussie poem, with perfect rhyme and meter
Whilst sitting, sipping on a port, with feet up by the heater
I love to read the end result and see it smoothly scan
And feel relieved that words still flow from this poor ageing man

And then to plug my laptop in, and type the final draft
To share amongst the readers (have thy cried or have they laughed?)
I then bring up this forum as to place it on the site
And there I am, face to face, with one intense S**t Fight!

My brethren Bush Poet, having some weird altercation
That does not touch on failed rhyme or poor alliteration?
And if it is not bad enough they fight amongst themselves
They have to stand on high horses and reach up onto shelves

To drag down and to ridicule some sacred Aussie ways
Or things now slightly modern, 'Didn't happen in our days'
They want to sling off Footy! Now did I read it right?
A stupid thing that packs the stands with fans each Friday night?

Now fair is fair, each to their own, for that's our Aussie psych
But if your gonna set a soapbox up, well then get on your bike
For I can give and take and laugh, forgive and then forget
I've never lost a single sleep regards a poem as yet

But when I started out, this game was 'Travel with ya mates'
Take it to the people, If needs, kick down their gates!
It was such a feeling in my heart, 'I finally belong'
Now time has spilt and now I'm thinking 'Did I get it wrong?'

So keep with your opinions, for that's how this country works
But be careful with those lashing tongues, there are no poet's perks
And if you find that what you write and say, now don't fulfill
Well then Im sure that 'getalife.com.au' will.


©Neil McArthur 2011

[Heather]

Beautiful poem; beautifully said.

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

Right on the button Neil.

Hey have you seen the new Jim Beam adds.

Are there shielas out there like that ?

Bob

[Zondrae]

Congratulations Neil,

What a great write. I really enjoyed the way your poem flowed smoothly from one thought to the next. Your choice of words was particularly appropriate to the topic and your deep understanding of both rhyme and metre are well illustrated.

This also made me think that some of us (myself) have been spending too much time on trivia and not enough time on writing poems. I shall comment less and write more. Thank you for the lesson.

[Neville Briggs]

I hear what you say Neil.
I have have been guilty of going off on a unnecessary tangent, I try to think twice or even thrice before sending things, but still sometimes I have to go back and remove bits.
There is even a way to delete reply posts, I've done that.
I still haven't perfected my behaviour.

A lady from the forum group was talking to me at a bush poetry function and she earnestly told me that she was disappointed that we seemed too " polite " to make comments about the standard or merit of the writing, she felt that she would learn something if people discussed what you have called "failed rhyme or poor alliteration".
It is in part because of her concern that I attempt to discuss features of the written work. It's a difficult thing to do.
Not everyone is receptive to their writing being critically analysed.
I fear that I get misunderstood and perhaps just resented, that's why often I just make a comment on the theme of the poem rather than on the poetic features.

The other reason why I try to comment on the poetry is because of the way some people view bush poetry.
A recent book put out by an ABC literary presenter referred to bush poetry as " simplified in theme and content " the context of his remarks made it clear that he thought bush poetry was only suitable for places like pubs, that bush poetry was mainly endless repetition of Banjo Paterson and I think the "simplified " comment was a smooth way of saying that bush poetry is very very ordinary.
That sort of distain gets to me and my response is to try and stir up bush poets into producing something that is quality and can't be said to be derivitive and ordinary, so that we might be able to prove those sort of people wrong.

So if my comments are nit-picking, pedantic or pompously technical , I apologise most sincerely. Encouragement to improvement is my motive, believe me.

On your poem Neil I like it. Straight from the shoulder, well placed rhythm, rhyme and metre, all suitable to the them and mood of the piece.

[Heather]

Neville don't ever feel you can't comment on a poem's structure or form. YOU gave me the greatest encouragement when I was a new comer and because of that encouragement I had a go at new things and pushed myself and I hope my poetry improved because of it. You also know far, far more than I do about poetry and I am willing to learn. Thank you.

Let your hair down Neville and come out from behind that big book of yours. (Else you might be on the front of the calander!)

Heather

[Maureen K Clifford]

Totally agree with Heather Neville - your comments and suggestions are always worthy and appreciated as far as I am concerned and I am sure others agree.

some people need to improve the bridge building skills - it is no good getting precious about anything...if you don't wish any subject debated be it poetry or otherwise then best you keep it under your hat...one only learns from a free exchange of ideas and thoughts and we are all different and won't agree on everything - so we are bloody lucky we live in a country where free speech is the norm.

People in other countries do not enjoy the freedoms we are blessed with - so why try to curtail honest discussion. As long as it isn't a slanging match or being derogatory or hurtful I don't see a problem with it - so if you think you are nit picking, pompous and pedantic (so am I about spelling) are you perhaps of pommie persuasion? How about perhaps more considered to be, educated, helpful and able to see outside the square? That's how I think of you my poetry friend.

Cheers

Maureen

[Heather]

There's nothing wrong with a bit of banter and fun in between poetry as Maureen and Marty say. I don't think most of us take it too seriously and it's a way for us to get to know each other and have a laugh. Most of us will meet at some stage or other. As Marty says, sometimes ideas can come from these little rants - look at poems written in the past 24 hours by Stephen, Keats and Bob (sorry if I missed anyone). I can think of several of my poems that have been inspired by the banter on this forum. They might not be my best poems but they are often the fun ones and the ones I write the quickest.

Life's too short to be too serious.

The Happy Moderator

[keats]

Good to see everything is back on track and back to normal!! lol. Good to see all these responses. Everyone back to constructive not destructive. Of course we need feedback from each other, not much point having this site it it doesn't work that way. Zondrae, there is no need for you to think, for example, to post less and write more. No need at all. Neville, you have said it, we all look to have our works criticised here. That's part of the exercise and has always worked well. Nothing needs changing, I just felt, and I have been guilty of it as well, that at times we post something in haste ( thus the term post-haste?) and then hit the submit button that little bit too quickly and lie awake half the night wishing for a quickly accessible delete button, or else how to justify what we may have said, or the way in which it was said. Great to see healthy debate again and glad to be involved, and happy to cop what I cop. Have a great day, and may inspiration flow freely to you all.

Cheers

Keats

[Neville Briggs]

I think I know exactly what you mean Neil .

Thanks for the kind comments Heather and Maureen, don't encourage me too much
I look forward to seeing some more of your writing Heather. Haven't seen any for a while.

Maureen, my maternal grandfather always called England ' the old country " ??? is that pommy persuasion ??


You brought up a very very important issue Neil. Good work I reckon.