THE EXPERT

[Vic Jefferies]

THE EXPERT.
(© Vic Jefferies 2005)

It was a cold and wintry night,
the coals in the grate glowed red
in the bar of the Bishop’s Light
when a stranger arose and said,

“I am a man of simple pleasure,
I seek neither fame nor gold,
but I insist with strictest measure
my whiskey be twelve years old.

So bring me a dram if you please
and mind what it is you are told,
lest you cause me angst and unease,
that the whiskey is twelve years old!

Barman! I ordered and paid for
McCalister’s Highland Gold!
Must I tell you again once more
for this stuff is but five years old?

Bring me my precious highland cream;
whiskey aged over the ten,
What is this dross, man do you dream?
This is less than twelve years old again!”

Wee Angus the sot of the town
shuffled forward from where he stood
and said, “Sir if you sip this down
I’m sure you will find it is good.

Please Sir, will you taste what I drink
will you sip from this glass of mine?”
“Phew!!!! You blithering fool but I think
it tastes like your own urine!”

“You are right Sir, and you judge well
for that indeed is my dram,
but now expert Sir can you tell -
how old do you think that I am?”


Vic Jefferies

[r.magnay]

Yeah, good Vic, but I suspect you might read the same books as Bob....

[Neville Briggs]

That's done well Vic , in the cheeky ballad style that suits the theme.

[Vic Jefferies]

G'day Ross and Neville,

Just a little joke I heard and tried to embellish.
Does make one think about being an expert on anything doesn't it?
It has been my experience that all pubs have someone that can take you down a peg or two if you get too big headed.

Vic

[Vic Jefferies]

Just read Keats' post in the yarn section about experts. I was right, every pub has one!
Vic